cant sleep last night. cant sleep tonight too. i yearn n yawn for bed but my mind stay awake for hrs...tired in mind n body...i dont think anymore...just go thru everyday like zombie...make myself tired so i can stay away frm evil thoughts but once im in bed, the nightmares grab hold of me...and then i cant sleep once again...long night edit: i love my bed. its embarrasing to say. but i really really love it. its the only place i truely feel safe. i can let my tears fall and not worried abt others seeing. its crap the nightmares r taking over. so fucking sad!! it makes lying in bed upset and i get even more irritated im being taking away frm my fav place. it shouldnt be so. its all wrong. i still love my bed but i cant lie in it anymore. the evil thoughts try to get to me when its all quiet and i cant give in to the evil thoughts, at least nt now. everyday i busy myself with something else, wear myself out so my mind goes blank but my heart hurts even more.i know im running away. its so sad im just a parasite for my family. my mum will faint if she knows the truth. that im a useless burden. but i still need more time. im being selfish. i wanna more time to be with them, to do whatever i can for them at the end. ohhh just ignore me. my rambles of the night. when can i sleep? i miss my bed!!!!!