Can't stand it anymore**SA, SI**

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by godsmack1970, May 21, 2007.

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  1. godsmack1970

    godsmack1970 Member

    To make a long story short, my ex-husband cheated on me every chance he got and when I started to SI he would say I was crazy that he was doing nothing wrong. It was all in my head. Now I am remarried and am in love with someone who is not my husband. It makes me sick to my stomach to admit this as I don't believe in cheating. But this guy has been on my mind for a long time and he feels the same way about me. I don't know what to do. I love my husband but am not IN love with him. There is no passion left. I was molested by my Uncle-in-law from the age of 9 till I was 16. And turns out my ex was put in prison for molesting his half-sister who was 14 at the time. He was 33. From what I have learned since, it had been going on for years and she got mad at him for something and turned him in. I have been SI'ing as long as I can remember and have been having a hard night. I have used a box-cutter on myself and burned myself and it still isn't enough. I don't know what to do. Can anyone give me some encouragement?
  2. eih

    eih Well-Known Member

    I don't know what to say

    please get through the night and try to be safe. I'm so sorry all those horrible things are happening to you. please don't feel guilty about liking another man.

    please take care and good luck...
  3. godsmack1970

    godsmack1970 Member

    thank you for the reply. I am just at a loss. I don't know how to go on. It seems like i keep screwing things up and for the life of me don't know how to stop. Just want this feeling to go away.
  4. i'm not going to sit here and say....i know how you feel because that's both patronising and what's the word? niave...
    but i was with someone who was whoring themselves around town all the time, and as my suspicions grew that would simply tell me i was crazy, paranoid and possesive. time went on...and they left me but not before finally admitted that they WERE giving out their love like sweets.
    then i found out all this other crazy stuff about y'know...none of this makes you a bad person, how was you to know? the same was i to know? the only person in the wrong is your ex...not YOU.

    as for the other thing...i am in a relationship where i love them, but i'm not in love...and the guilt when you start to feel for someone else is unbearable. however, it shows what a wonderful person you are that you're feeling this guilt..most people just bugger off and don't care about their husband/wife's feelings.

    i do think honesty is the best policy, though...tell the truth and go for it with this other owes you some happiness...take some whilst it's on offer i say!

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