Can't stand it anymore!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SaraRose, Jun 1, 2012.

  1. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I really can't. When I sit and realize another day has passed with life not advancing for me I freak out to the point where I can't breath or do anything but cry. F*ck. I keep telling myself that I can get my life going. But here I am and with nothing to show for it. Is it really so wrong to want just a couple things. And I SWEAR if I hear "go out and make it happen" or "you just have to go out there and meet others" I will SCREAM!

    APPARENTLY IT DOESN'T WORK!! I've tried for 28 f*cking years thank you very much. It's gotten to the point I can't ask anyone for help because I can't stand the embarrassment that here I am and still unable to do anything. I'm just so lost. So lost and so tired. I just want to have a day where I can smile and see that I've done something meaningful for my life.

    I can't even put how I feel in words, what I've written just sounds so pathetic and yet when I try to say how it feels deep in my soul nothing comes out right. It's just a pain that has been etched for too long that I don't ever see it getting better.

    Sometimes I wonder how it feels to be really happy. How it feels to not have to pretend happiness but to actually feel it. And then I wonder if I'm meant to just live this life because I don't remember what true happiness really feels like.
  2. b-rock

    b-rock Well-Known Member

    i used to have that same feeling when i would think about the future, and i would see how far my friends have come and i would feel scared, nervous. but at some point i realized that i can't stress about something that hasn't happened and you shouldn't. there is a quote i know, but don't know where it comes from: "One of the fundamental axioms held in our dominant western civilized culture has to do with the influence of “getting somewhere in life.” But…Arent I already something?" and yes you are already something. stop trying to fit into what society expects a "successful" person to be. don't let judgements and expectations get too you and that is easier said then done, but with work it can be. cause honestly what does it mean to get your life going? it is already going. don't try to belittle how you have lived. and what you written doesn't sound pathetic...if it is im also pathetic mate. haha.

    happiness...i believe comes from the inside out. be happy with yourself first. i hope for the best. and don't give up on that quest for happiness. every need to talk hit me up.
  3. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    That quote, I love it. I gotta try to remember it.

    Thank you for your comment, it helps is a weird way to know that at least one person may not see me as being weird...

    The being happy with myself is the hardest part, it's been something I've battled to try to do. I try to tell myself that I need to love myself before others can. Yet I keep falling back down the same paths. I don't see a magical change coming, since it hasn't yet but I still in a weird way keep hoping for it to come.

    I know this comment is weird...probably me being half asleep and half blah-ed from allergies.
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I feel exactly the same way you do...and you don't sound weird at all...I'm really sorry you feel this way. It's hard for me to give good advice because I'm thinking of giving up, but I hope that you don't. It might be hard right now to see the good in life, but I hope you can find something that makes you happy.
  5. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean, sometimes it's the hardest to give advice when you experience the same pains.

    :hug: I hope you don't decide to give up. I know it's painful to keep going sometimes. But I'd hate to see you leave! Your posts and outlook always brings a smile to my face- weird as it may sound. If you ever need to talk I'm always here for you.
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Thanks, if you need to talk to someone, I'm here for you too :hug:
  7. b-rock

    b-rock Well-Known Member

    yeah, personally for me, my problem was i was too occupied with what everyone else was doing and was subsequently comparing their lives to my own. i was just too self-conscience and for the longest time i felt like everyone in the world had a secret i didn't know like a secret tip or answer that allowed them to function so fluidly and easily and that it was just me that was left behind like i didn't know the directions, but i realized everyone is like that. kind of random, but i hope it helps. keep trying. i know you can get through this for the better. fyi comment was not weird at all. every feel like talking just shoot me a message.