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Can't stand living again

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Kath123

Active Member
#1
Just can't stand it. My life is so not worth living. I don't want any of this. I don't know how to get through the day and I don't want to get through the day. I just want out.
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
hi kath, sorry you're feeling this way. what makes you think your lifes not worth living? :arms:
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#3
Hi and so sorry you feel that way...maybe sharing with us what is going on will make it more tolerable...we are here to listen... J
 

Sapphire

Well-Known Member
#4
Just can't stand it. My life is so not worth living. I don't want any of this. I don't know how to get through the day and I don't want to get through the day. I just want out.
Well that's not good! ;) What you've got to do is find out why you're feeling this way, then change that, and then become a happy, energetic, active person! :) Easier said than done? Hmmmmm, I dunno. :mellow: Depends on what your issues are, I guess. Why don't you tell us about them. Maybe we can give you some advice on how to change what's troubling you. :laugh:
 
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Kath123

Active Member
#5
My life really isn't worth living. I mean seriously. I'm one of the people who should die. I'm a 40 year old loser. I live with my parents. I have no friends. I'm terrible at my job, and I hate it. I wake up every day just wishing I were dead. I don't even really want friends or a better job, I don't want to do anything except die. I don't look forward to anything, and I don't enjoy anything. And I'm a selfish, ugly, unpleasant person.

I've been in therapy, and my therapist is very kind to me but all that happens is I see all the reasons my life is horrible, and I try to change things, but nothing changes the fact that I can't stand living.

Which begs the question - why the hell am I still here? It's simple and stupid. My parents would be upset if I died. Even more if I killed myself. I don't know how my mother would get through. I tried to kill myself when I was 20, and didn't think of that, and wish to God I had died then.

But every day is just awful. I want a terminal illness to take it out of my hands, so I don't have to feel guilty.

I tell myself every day to keep on keeping on, and I do for what it's worth, but it is SO LONELY to feel like one of the dead and be among the living.
 

Sapphire

Well-Known Member
#6
If you could to it all over again what would you do differently?

Do it all over again in the sense that you could live your life a second time from the start.
 

Kath123

Active Member
#9
Serious answer. I'd have read up on what pills actually kill you when I was 20. There was no internets back then, but I could have looked it up in a library.
 

Sapphire

Well-Known Member
#10
lol You answered before my latest post came in. Let's say killing yourself at 20 wasn't an option... I mean do you feel you could have prevented any misery by making other decisions?
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#11
Try and stay positive, find things to look forward to, try and make some friends. They say, life is what you make it, only you can change it. :)
 

Kath123

Active Member
#12
Oh, well if that's not an option. Regrets? I've had a few. To say the least. Sure I could have prevented lots of misery if I'd done this or that. All of it, maybe. But most of where I am isn't a single bad choice, it's a consistent pattern that is who I am, what I keep doing, stupidities I can't shake even at 40.

I have tried to make changes over the years. I've gone from unemployed to employed. I volunteer. I try to change my attitude, be more responsive to people. Be less of a bitch. Confront my anxieties. And I have changed. But it's too late for any of that to make a dent.

And honestly? I so am what I am. The reason my first choice would be killing myself at 20 is because I don't think my life could ever have been worth living. I just so am what I am.
 

Sapphire

Well-Known Member
#16
If you knew, then it's still intriguing to me that you started this thread. ;) Why DID you start this thread anyway? I'm not attacking you, I'm just curious. Did you just want to vent?
 
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