When someone judges you, because of something you have done/you do. My friend flipped on me, & started talking crap; because I have smoked weed TWICE. He acted as if I didn't know it was stupid, acted as if I depended on it, as if I was going to ruin my life. & Just gave me this huge lecture on how if I have 'electronics & a house' my life can't be all that bad. He just sat there, repeatedly bashing me, giving me shit for it. Honestly, I know everyone has problems. I know life isn't a piece of damn cake. I sympathize with others, I really do; but, I know that the problems are pretty fucked up all on their own. & He has no idea what I go through, or what I have gone through. & If everything else I've tried to relieve stress, & emotional depression; What's it to him if I get high once in awhile? It's not as if I do it alot, 'nor will I ever. 'Nor will I ever go on any other street drug or anything; I know what that does to people too, I mean. He added how he saw a friend change & get way into it. Well, guess what? I grew up with two drug addicts for parents. [my mother does meth & god knows what else, & i'm not sure about what my dad does exactly.] My dad isn't so bad, but my mother is completely fucked. & everytime she says she's going to quit, she doesn't. I didn't say this, because it was stuff he added after I told him I just wanted to drop it & not talk about it anymore. Because, at that point I was crying. Yes , it was through IM. But, I was literally in tears because it actually made me think of how bad my life is. How much shit I go through & take. The few friends that know just SOME of what I go through , have even told me things such as 'I think I would've already killed myself in your place, I don't think I could handle it..' 'How do you do it? You're so strong.' etcetc. yes, I breakdown. Yes, I get depressed. Yes, sometimes I just want to fall off the face of the earth. & You know what, The VERYFEW times I will do weed or whatever, it relaxes me. Makes me forget about my worries , just for a little while. Yes, I understand it kills braincells & all that. Which is why I WON'T do it alot. Which is why, unlike my friend, I'm not sitting on my ass doing it every damn day as a way to escape. I know you can't escape from your problems, I'm not trying to. I just want a moment of peace & complete happiness. Is that so much to ask? Yes, I have happy moments. But, I'm talking about those moments; when NOTHING seems to be right. .. Maybe no one else does all this, or gets it. But, I just needed to rant, about how fucked up I thought it was of him to act. & then how he decided to apologize when I stopped talking. /rant.