Hello, forum. Let me apologize in advance for my bad English. I'm not from GB or USA. I do understand that everyone who will read this is a human with his own problems and my problems are not yours, so sorry for sharing it with you. So, it's been like half a year now that i've been thinking about ending life. So far i've come up with <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>, because its not easy and i don't want anyone to say - he was weak, like they usually say.....not that it will matter to me, but i dont want other people to <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>. The only thing that's holding me here are parents. I don't want them to suffer. But i don't know how long it will hold me. Why? No reason to live in this damned world. I had a dream about love, family...but this dream is gone after several very unsuccessful attempts. May be women are terrible beings and they only TELL people a myth about how they want a caring and good person - so far i've seen only the opposite. Or may be i am just too terrible even for the worst slut in the world. I just dont care anymore. That love was the only reason i had to keep fighting in this over-competitive world driven by greed and stupidity. The more i read about psychology, sociology, history the more i hate humans as a kind, the more i hate their gods and nature itself. Everything is based upon death - animals killing each other, people killing each other for a scrape of meal. Instead of helping each other we always try to harass others, steal, lie, betray. If i dont look and behave like everyone else in collective then i'm not "accepted".....and it doesnt matter to them who i really am, what i do......its not about actions, intelligence, abilities, its only about how you present yourself, how you lie. Why should i live in this world? Ahead of me is just loneliness nad dull working days without any prospect of career advancement (because to advance you have to lie, betray and generally be a hypocrite). I cant feel hapiness. New years eve, christmass, birthday are like normal days to me....even more duller - i can't see why's everyone so happy about them. What IS there to be happy about?