I lost the love of my life after 33 years of living, working, traveling together and loving every minute of our time together. Most people found us ODD, "HOW CAN YOU SPEND THAT MUCH TIME TOGETHER?, IT IS NOT HEALTHY!!" Well for us it was what we wanted and to separate to appease society is ridiculous. She died on Monday and I have no interest in starting a new life. At 52 I will never have another partner [I new this 20 yrs ago]. I have no regrets, no financial burden [ enough to get by which has always been enough for me]. I do not want to start a whole new life. Suicide has always been an option to me, something we discussed when it crossed my thoughts and I do not have anything such as a religious conviction holding me down. I miss her soooo much. I don't intend to do anything rash today or tomorrow but I am keeping it as an option for the near future. I have no anger, I realize people die and she suffered greatly so I am thankful for her relief from this pain but I am satisfied with the life I have had and although fairly young I have got what I needed from this life and so ending it would not be traumatic for me or my family. We have no children and my family was hers as she had no one but me. I intend to try and ride out the winter but living out here in the country without her may be to much to bare. I don't know... Thanks for having a place for us to freely express our thoughts.