Ive actually come a long way since joining SF, mainly due to SF, so thanks all, but one of the main issues which hasn't changed at all is my pessimism, which is probably because it predated my depression. I always expect things to fail, things I fixed to still be broken, plans to fall apart, people not to like me, and for the most part its fine, I just work under the assumption that I am wrong and don't get to disheartened if I am right and it all goes wrong because I expected it anyway, but the worst part of this is my catastrophising.
It started after my best friend just up and died one day, I got a phone call in the middle of the night from another friend letting me know, and that was it. Since then I have had trouble with imaging the worst case scenario when people up and vanish unexpectedly, and I cant shake the feeling that these worst case scenarios are true.
Dont pick up the phone for a while and I begin wondering if you are tired of me or I offended you, dont turn up ON TIME to an agreed meetup I begin imagining that have been attacked and could be bleeding out somewhere; a call ends unexpectedly and I dont get an answer when I call back and I fear you have dropped dead, just like my friend. I am good and dont hound the person to answer, but it will haunt me until I hear from them again. Its never the person's fault, its just my unreasonable paranoia, but each time my mind will begin making scenarios and running them through until it has reached the worst possible scenario and its always brutal, and I have to struggle to not believe it.
It started after my best friend just up and died one day, I got a phone call in the middle of the night from another friend letting me know, and that was it. Since then I have had trouble with imaging the worst case scenario when people up and vanish unexpectedly, and I cant shake the feeling that these worst case scenarios are true.
Dont pick up the phone for a while and I begin wondering if you are tired of me or I offended you, dont turn up ON TIME to an agreed meetup I begin imagining that have been attacked and could be bleeding out somewhere; a call ends unexpectedly and I dont get an answer when I call back and I fear you have dropped dead, just like my friend. I am good and dont hound the person to answer, but it will haunt me until I hear from them again. Its never the person's fault, its just my unreasonable paranoia, but each time my mind will begin making scenarios and running them through until it has reached the worst possible scenario and its always brutal, and I have to struggle to not believe it.