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..cant stop ctying [no sence rant]

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..cant stop crying [no sence rant]

i think i'm going crazy i just can't stop crying-- idk what i'm crying for???!!! i'm just crying like a weirdo -- i just feel like crap- i'm shacking-- why i'm shacking-- >__< -- am i afraid of something? or i just need a sweeter

that idiot of DP just telling me no and giving a damn about my work, giving a damn about my feelings .. i'm not looking for pity - or anything like that i just want him to stop being a cold head and just see that i worked hard in that fucking site too-- that he thinks its all his..- he just doesn't want to understand that...- one"i dont' need anybody i can do this alone" dumb head-- no wonder why he's still a virgin.. when [if] he gets marriage i'm sure her wife will dumb him soon -..- he keeps everybody away...

idk why i care about that site so much??! maybe is cuz people there [besides that cold head] apreciate me and acknowledge my work.. maybe is cuz i think finnaly i'm good for something even its just a little thing-- maybe is cuz i'm a buthead and i just dont' have nothing better to do-- i just dunno..but he just let me out of my nerves-- he's a jackass..- that's it-- i'm having enought without his shits i will leave that site even it hurts and is one of the things i'm living for-- living for a site-- stupid eh?--

and i wish i could stop crying..- i can't see a reason for why i'm crying-- i just want to drop death.. isn't it to much for ask?
i just ask not to wake up the next day.. why is so hard to do??-

actually i'm not sure if i have depression anymore maybe i'm faking all this-- maybe i'm just a crybaby who is over reacting about how the way of life is.. idk whatever it is i just want it to stop-- if i'm faking it i wish i knew how to stop..

you are too young for die-- people say-- nah i'm fine i wish i could died younger when i could but i think my boddy is stronger that i thought after all- i'm still here-- meh many people will say "well i was just waiting for this moment, i knew this will happen" ..

right now i just feel like cutting my arm-- i haven't do it in 3 days.. that's why i feel so anxious about doing it..

i just have no idea what i'm saying i'm even forgetting how to write.. i have to think many types the word i want to say before saying it-- i wish icould express myself better.. but all the art i can do is the one i make with my blood and a piece of paper--
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