can't stop cutting myself

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Hazel31, Apr 7, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Hazel31

    Hazel31 Member

    its been weeks i started to cut myself. my whole hand is full of bruises but i still cant seems to stop it. I need to feel the pain. everytime i get hurt, i cut my wrist. it feels so good to feel the pain. I hate doing it but there's no choice. The first time i cut myself when i was 10 years old. I couldnt take it when my parents starts to curse and hit me badly. i need to release it. I know im going to slash my wrist one day to commit suicide. i have done it but my sister saved me and sent me to the hospital and that was the most miserable part of my life. my parents treated me worse after that. I am doing it to myself now. I am addicted to smoking and cutting and maybe i will start burning... i dunno what to do... although it hurts but i cant stop it because there are voices in my head saying me to keep on cutting.
  2. Buggsy2008

    Buggsy2008 Well-Known Member

    I don't really know what to say except we're here if you need to talk. :hug:
  3. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    hiya Hazel,
    it would be easy for me to just say try and resist the temptation, as words mean nothing when you truley feel like nothing can counter act the pain inside than feeling the pain outside.
    I have S/H for a few years now, it got steadily worse till it got dangerously close.
    It is addictive, It does calm you mind, It helps, even if just for a moment by allowing you to focus on somthing other than the noise inside.

    I took it borderline too close,,,,,

    I tell you this now in the hope that you will ask for help when you need it, please dont leave it till its too late.
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It is often so much easier to cope with a physical pain than it is with an emotional pain. I think a lot of self harmers can relate to that in some sense, even if its not quite in the way you feel.

    It sounds like right now you definitely don't want to stop, and no one should force you. It should be your choice.

    Why is it you feel you have no choice as to whether or not you do it?

    Do you have any professional support at all?
  5. Hazel31

    Hazel31 Member

    thanks to everyone who replied. Its not easy for me to stop. Maybe, i just dont want to stop because i need to feel the pain. I feel numb, lifeless. things are getting worse in my life. i am not sure how long i can live my life...waiting for the right time...
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    If you want to get to a point where you want to stop (although may not be ready to stop this instant), maybe looking for some professional help to help you along that journey might be worthwhile.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.