cant stop cutting

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by chrism67, Feb 5, 2012.

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  1. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I was only cutting once a day. Now I'm cutting several times a day and when I do I'm cutting several times at a sitting. I just cant stop. And I think that the one area is infected. It's all red, painful, and has a discharge. But, that doesnt even stop me. I don't know who to even call. My medical doc doesn't know that I cut. And my shrink would probably admit me. I don't know where to turn. But I wish I could stop. My cuts keep getting deeper. It doesn't satisfy me like it did before. Part of me just wants to finish everything off. Then no more worries. the end.
     
  2. jamesonnk

    jamesonnk Member

    First of all, I'm so sorry. Second, I just want to say that I understand the urge. The scars on my wrists say so. I understand how temting it is to just find out what lies on the other side but, please know, it isn't worth it. It is too soon. That day will come, and trust me, when it does, you will be glad you waited. There comes a certain point when you only have things to gain. This is that point. I don't know where you live, but, maybe you could go to the emergency room/clinic under a fake name and be seen about the infection. I want you to know, you can turn to me. Whenever. And I know, better than anyone that that doesn't help but I just want you to know. The fact that you came on here and posted something reaching out for help is really encouraging. It means that a part of you, however small, wants to stay, knows that good things can happen. That yo CAN feel things again. Its not a magical process and there are still days when I stare at my wrists and wonder what would've happened if I hadn't met the person sleeping next to me right now. I know its intimadating, but, you could always call an anomyous hotline depending on your country of residence. Please know, that, I will be thinking about you tonight. And I will be wishing the very best for you.
     
  3. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Well i cut again! I cant stop. I cant tell u how many cuts i am nursing. And they are all red and sore. I hope they are not infected. But i hope they are healing just slowly. I just want to go deeper. Why cant i stop.
     
  4. jamesonnk

    jamesonnk Member

    To best avoid infection without going to the doctor, you should try and soak the sore/red area in the warmest water you can stand with some salt in it. Then, you should dry it and apply a lot of neosporin like ointment and keep it loosly covered. It would be very good if you could repeat this 3 times a day. It's really important to do something like this or see a doctor to avoid blood posining. As far as the need for cutting goes, I know this is going to sound very strange, but, when I gradually stopped cutting, when I got impulses, I bit myself pretty hard. Like, on the wrist on such. This isn't exactly healthy but is defenitly not as damaging to your body. I know this probably wont work, but the next time you feel like cutting, could you try to bite or draw or scream or cry or punch a pillow or something? Just basically find something that you enjoy doing and whenever you feel the urge to cut, dry replacing cutting with that thing.I reqlly want to help you and know that you are getting better. I am here no matter what and I am extremely sorry I can't be more help. Please hang in there a little longer.
     
  5. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Thank you. Im cutting several times a day im trhing to cut it down. But its so hard. Ive stopped drinking, smoking and detoxed from klonopin.but this is definitely the hardest. I dont even know if its possible. Because i also hav e suicidal feelins daily. But i want to thank you. Id like a someone to talk to.
     
  6. jamesonnk

    jamesonnk Member

    You're very welcome. I wish I could be of more help. Please don't EVER hesitate to message me. Anytime. If you need advice or have any questions, please let me know. It is hard, but, possible. I wish the very best for you and hope we can keep in contact. Youre doing really well and should know that. Good luck and please hang in there.
     
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