It's really bad right now. I sitting here in my little 8 x 6 work cell listening to everyone elses keyboards and one-sided phone calls chanting to myself in my head IneedtodieIneedotdieIneedotdieIneedotdieIneedtodieIneedtodie I can't stop it I'm just so miserable - tired of the looks I'm getting knowing that no one actually gives a damn I don't have all my pills with me, but I keep seeing myself at the top of the parking garage. It would be so easy. I'm tired of the pain of being a disappointment to my family, my job, myself. This is the worst I've felt ever. I don't want to feel like this anymore.