can't stop myself*mite trigger*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by among the stars, Jun 10, 2010.

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  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    I haven't cut or taken pills or burned myself in a long time....tonight i have snapped...im back to all the bad stuff i used to do, i can do longer hide behind the iron mask. im slipping back in the darkness of my hell...where i dont care if i live or die...where the pain is so bad i hurt myself just to stop my eternal suffering even if its just for a moment....i was saving the pills for the night i ended my life but suddenly decided it is now...i slice thru my skin not feeling the searing pain as before...i have no reason to stop i feel nothing but the intense hatred for the human race, my best friend, boyfriend...everyone i called friend...that word means nothing when people dont keep their promises. i see the redness and the heat coming from my waist and arms and neck but still no pain...i feel nothing....keep holding it in and holding it in, not even taking it out on myself, wont talk about it to anyone, i kno that hurts me in the end but i do not care.
    everyone says ill get over mom eventually but that hurts like a blade....makes me cry, makes me wanna die....thats what i want now...i wanna die
     
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