Can't stop thinking about death.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Jan 16, 2011.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    It's going through my head all the time. I can't sleep as of it. Self harm has taken over and that isn't even helping that much. Something big is brewing. I am so tired I can't function. Anyone know of anything that can get over the counter that will make me sleep. Not to OD on just to sleep. Any good anti-histamines out there that work as a sedative.

    I am going to the GP tomorrow. I had the x-ray on my arm and shows the needle still there. I have said not self harm and have denied all knowledge of it. I have been told I will probably have to have an operation to get it out. The thing is this doesn't bother me. I think cos I plan on eating and drinking before it in the hope I have some alergic reaction to the aneasthetic. No one would ever know that it was on purpose then either.

    My other plans are for this Friday. I have the house to myself and will be able to self harm as much as I want. I then plan on going somewhere to finish it off so no one I know would have to find me. I can't go on like this. The counsellor knows I am having thoughts on serious self harm but not the extent of how I am planning it. I haven't said mainly as I am stubborn and can't see the point discussing it with a counsellor when I have already made up my mind. Also there is the confidentiality thing that she would have to break if she thought I was at risk of serious harm. So can't see the point in saying anything there then.

    I need sleep!
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    you shouldn't make any decisions when you are so sleep deprived. it messes with your thinking. perhaps your doctor can give you a small prescription for sleeping pills (just a few, not enough to od on) to get you some sleep.

    i think you should let your counsellor know how rough you are feeling. i know it's scary but i'm sure she would want to help. are your parents away on friday? what else can you do to stay safe? i am concerned for you. i don't want you to go ahead with this. these feelings come in cycles. i know you can feel better if you just survive this. hang on. it does get better.
     
  3. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I am so sick of it. I can't see the point in letting the counsellor know when I am so set on it. I don't want to be safe anymore.
     
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