Can't stop thinking about dieing

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by JamesPedge, May 15, 2015.

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  1. JamesPedge

    JamesPedge New Member

    I keep thinking about suicide and dieing.

    Even though sometimes I don't feel like attempting.

    But for whatever reason no matter how happy I am it's all that runs through my mind.

    It's as if is my destiny to end my own life. And me keep thinking about suicide is driving me more and more to try and end my life.

    I can't look at myself in the mirror. It just makes everything worse. Can't stand being around people just like to be alone with my thoughts. I hate my life I can't stand this shit anymore.

    Somebody help me :(
  2. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I'm pretty much in the same boat except that I'm never happy. I don't like to be around people much either. I hate seeing people who are laughing and who arent in pain. It seems like everyone is ok except for me. All that I can say is to do all that you can to get help. Unfortunately there is nothing that can be done to help me, but maybe they can help you.
  3. hide

    hide Member

    You know? too long to go through something similar, at night I imagined dead, I imagined my motionless body in a pool of blood , always had those thoughts, not knowing what to do , so I started to walk in the evening , trying to find some meaning to life, started to clear my head , you know , watch a series , biking , jogging, came at night and I felt so married just slept , I had time to think about my death , so slowly that idea was disappearing on me, you should practice something, make your mind free as some devious idea.

    sorry my English , I speak Spanish so my English is bad , I hope my idea is understood, and if , translate with google xDDDD ...
  4. alia234

    alia234 New Member

    Life.....This word has had a magical effect on me since childhood.In that time I used to be alone playing lonely,thinking about what life means but I had no answer.When I grew up I still felt the same.I felt like a broken boat in the middle of a dark sea which has no borders.I have tried everything.But all of those either has hurt myself or my friends and family.I dont know what I am to do now...
  5. Hopelss

    Hopelss Member

    I feel much the same, never really liked being around many people, my own death is usually the last thing i think about as a fall asleep and the regret that I woke up and didnt die in my sleep is all a feel in the mornings. Most of those that I am around by necessity are clueless about whats going on underneath, I put on the mask that shows everyone that I am fine, that I am coping, that i can handle it because I know if they knew the truth about how much I wasnt fine, how far past not being able to cope I am then it would cause them some fraction of the pain and suffering that I feel. Its like the old saying about being like a duck in water, all you see on the surface is a calm duck floating along without effort, underneath they are thrashing like mad to stay afloat. On the surface I am fine, coping and able to handle it, underneath I am in way over my head, thrashing to keep my outward calm and head above water and inside fighting the urge that is getting stronger by the day/hour/minute/second to just stop fighting and slip under and finally be at peace. I mean how sad is it that half of the bookmarks in my browser are for items that I had planned or may plan to order to make my exit.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, are you seeing a professional? If not I would highly recommend that you do. If you're having suicidal thoughts you need help.
    What triggers the mental suffering that you are enduring?
    Talk to us here too, we might be able to relieve the stress of everything that is going on.
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