When i was around the age of 6 or 7 i dont remember the exact time someone close to me did things to me, it makes me sick when i think about it now i cant stopthinking about it. i did all sorts of disgusting things i was only a child though i knew it was wrong but i still let him do them and i did what ever he told me to do. i feel dirty and sick i dont know what to do. i feel like a dirty whore for not stopping him i knew it was wrong so why didnt i stop him? It went on for atleast 4 or 5 years and im now 26 and i still cant stop thinking about it. i dont even know if this was abuse as the person was on a 4 or 5 years older than me. i went to counselling about it but i was to ashamed to admit what had happened to anyone. i dont know if this is the reason amongst others why i cut myself or have suicidl thoughts. i sometimes think it was just kids stuff but it was so fuckin wrong. i dont know what to do and the person that did this to me im still in contact with but we NEVER mention it may be they have erased it from thier memory but i cant. Please can someone help me. Am i just a sick indvidual for letting someone do this to me and not stopping them?