Lately I have been a mess. I hardly sleep at all, I am soo emotional like a sad scene from a movie where a loved one is lost can bring me to tears like a pregnant chick I just can't control my emotions. I just feel soo low I really can't remember what it was like to be happy yes I can remember times when I was happy but not the feeling of it. I told my parents how I was feeling and my mum just kept telling me to take some herbal pills and to do breathing exercises. I know my life won't change and I know I will never get out of this place so I just want to end it now. The thought of it is making me happy and it gives me such a feeling of relief its unbelievable and refreshing. The only thing stopping me now is just finding the right method. I have tried a few things before such as overdosing, cutting and I would like to try hanging again but if it fails there is always a chance of brain damage or a broken neck and if I did survive from it and got any of those I would just be stuck here feeling worse. It has gotten to a point where I care about nothing anymore. The only things I do care about is my ex and whether or not I should leave a note for anyone or not. This is not some cry for help or just to have someone tell me not to do it I just want to end my life this pain never goes away and I cannot enjoy the things I used to do any more.