**Can't Stop**

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Marshmallow, Dec 8, 2006.

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  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Started off with scratching with a knife
    Scratches started to get worse
    Tried to stop
    Did stop
    Got triggered
    Remember what someone said to me
    Did that
    Now can't stop
    This is the longest i've gone without since starting
    5 days
    Wanna so badly right
    Feel like my heart has been ripped out
    The person i started stopping for well ....... lets not go there
    Wanna feel that pain
    Wanna punish myself for ruining it
    For doing everything wrong
    I deserve the marks
    Deserve the pain
    Deserve everything i've got comming to me
    Fucked up this like i did with my mate
    Going the same way
    And im NOT going thru that again
    I refuse it
    I'm not strong
    And i will slip up
    Why not make it right now!
    Why not get out what i need to do it right now!
    I cant even talk to the person who i use to talk about this shit before with!
    Urgh whatever
    I give up
    5 days thats good enough
    Guess ill be recounting pretty soon
    Whats the point anymore!?
    I'm fucked up why not have an arm to match!
     
  2. altek001

    altek001 Well-Known Member

    ..five days...

    well..it's a start, isn't it..?

    ...baby steps..

    thinking of you,
    - Henry
     
  3. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Sweetheart, five days is a fantastic achievement! :) You have to start somewhere.

    People who have gone for twenty years without self harm had "only" gone for 5 days without at some point.

    I know you're having a hard time with that person at the moment, but I'm sure you guys will come through it. Seems to me from what I've seen that you really have something special.

    Hang in there.

    (((Vikki)))

    Thinking of you.
     
  4. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Thanks for your replys :smile: they mean alot

    I'm glad to say i never burnt myself allthough i was really tempted. a convosation with MJ kept me going thru the rough time, so a big thank you to him and also Ester.

    Now on my 6th day :smile:
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :wootrock:
     
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    hehehehehe :wootrock:!! nearly 1 week which im very proud of :biggrin: Just hope i can stick it out till then :sad:
     
  7. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    hun..just want to say..the only person you should be stopping for is YOU. I really think i understand where youre coming from..probably more than you know, well definitely. But just saying from experience you need to want this for you too. 5 days is a great achievement though. :smile: And in case..try to remember..slip ups happen, and if they do, its not back to square one. Not at all. hope things get easier for you :hug:
     
  8. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I'm proud of you Vikki​
     
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