Can't stop

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by marie, Feb 4, 2007.

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  1. marie

    marie Member

    Okay I'm sitting here in front of my goddamn laptop and my right arm is bleeding, just stopped cutting it for like an hour with a broken razor. It's all gummy and disgusting and some of them are practically pumping blood but it's not enough. When I first started one or two cuts made me feel better but now I'm pretty much tearing the skin on my arms and thighs to strips to feel even halfway better and I can't fucking stop and if I do I'll be okay for like an hour then the skin will itch and tingle and I'll need to cut it again and again until I'm back to square one.

    Just wanna keep going until I can't bleed anymore and go to sleep and I know it's a slow death unless you get a massive artery like the jugular but I really don't care, I just want to let go now. I hate this, I hate all of it and it's too fucking much to deal with any more and nobody's gonna come and help me cos either they don't know or they don't care - or even they don't realise cos I keep smiling in public and I don't like people seeing me down so they don't know and don't understand.

    I can't trust anyone and I can't stop, and I know I need to but I can't and won't. It's too fucking late now.
  2. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    marie i know how you feel, and the dessesperation you are feeling right now. all i can´t tell you is to try to keep yourself busy, do activities so at the end of the day you´ll be so tired you´ll go to sleep, try to not to think about it and try to avoid knifes and razors and bloody movies and sad or heavy music. i hope you feel better pm me if you need to talk
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