Cant stop :(

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Vitreledonellidae, Aug 7, 2007.

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  1. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    I cant stop, it has been going on like this all day.
    I eat too much, got sick, threw up..
    I eat too much, got sick, threw up..
    This happened at least 6 times, lost count >.<
    Its just sick, why am I doing this?
    I'm obsessed with losing weight.
    I feel so ashamed, telling you this.
    Telling you how weak, how stupid I am.
    And I'm sorry to bother you with this.
    But my bother-buddy is on an holiday.
    No one understands it, I dont even understand it >.<
    I feel lost and alone, dont know what to do.
    Even thinking of going to the ED-grouptherapy.
    Because the bulimia and the binging is just fucking me up more.
    But still I dont wanna stop with this, I cant stop.
    Sorry, I will stop now, enough of my ranting.
    Just needed to let out, dont expect replies.
  2. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    I harmed myself again today, yesterday too.
    Havent done it for a month, before that about 4 months.
    Makes me feel better, but its not good enough.
    I need more, I want more, I want it all gone.
    Deleted people from msn again, need to cut contacts.
    Need to cut contact with everyone.
    Because I'm going in the wrong direction, going down
    And I dont wanna take people with me.
    Especially because lots of people are doing better.
    I'm sorry, I dont know what to do anymore, so lost.
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun, please please please go to the ED can't go on like this :sad: :hug:
  4. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I think it might be the right thing to do at this point, scary as it is, and I know its stressing you out a lot, but I think there needs to be some sort of intervention in this. Like i said in a short msn message i just sent now (which hopefully you'll get :sad: ) I will always support you in whatever you decide to do. :hug:
  5. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    Eating disorders are very tough to beat! But you can recover from this, you just have to take the first step and reach out to someone for some help. Try and figure out what it is that is really bothering you because it is not really about the food or your weight, it is a deeper underlying issue. You have to figure that out before you can stop using the eating disorder behavoirs to cope, you can learn other ways to cope. It is hard, but you can do it if you want to. Don't give up on yourself.

    There is a book called Life Without Ed that is a great book to read if you have an eating disorder. One of my favorite quotes from that book is, "fall down seven times, get up eight".

    You do not have to battle this all alone, there is help out there for you, go find it so you can break the cycle and begin to heal.


  6. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    The person above me has a point. Perhaps there are some underlying issues which are contributing to your eating disorder.
  7. JohnADreams

    JohnADreams Well-Known Member

    You dont need to feel ashamed, nor are you stupid or weak. Just try the grouptherapy if it's available for you. if it does work or it doesnt, there's no harm in trying.
  8. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I know a woman who was immensely helped through group ED therapy. Also, she sometimes goes to AA meetings (she is NOT alcoholic) because the process is very similar and it helps her just to go and connect with others who are facing and battling addiction. Try it. It works and she is much happier for it!
  9. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Hun, your not weak for posting this, your asking for help and thats one of the things i admire about you. People here are right, theres no hard in trying the therapy. We care about you an AWFUL lot, including me! I'm here if you ever need to talk, you have my msn, skype and mobile number. Don't be afraid to reach out.

    Love ya to bits :hug:

    From your BIGGEST art fan,

    Vikkers xxx
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