Can't stop

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Marshmallow, Dec 23, 2008.

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  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    I use to be able to go months without cutting. Now i've cut 3 days in a row. Yesterday, the night before and just now. I hate that i'm getting back into this but its the only way i can cope with whats going on around me.

    I will cut tomorrow and i will cut christmas day and i will cut boxing day. I can't go into reasons why but i have to because those days i will truely know what i've lost. All the plans i had .... gone.

    I carry a blade on me all the time now. Somewhere no one will find it.
  2. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    sorry to hear you need to cut so badly Vikki, as you said you can't go into reasons and i won't pry but look back to how you coped before and see if you can use those coping methods now.
    see if you can go 1 day without cutting no matter what and see how that goes.

    take care
  3. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    im sorry that your going through such a hard time :hug:
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    :hug: vikki

    lean on your friends hun, we are all here for u :smile:
  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    have started head banging again, use to do it years ago. Been doing it for like 5 mins now, can't stop.

  6. Rockster

    Rockster Guest

    vikki from our chats when i was really bad we both know that this isnt the way to sort everything out :hug: i hope to still see you on MSN and chat to you after Christmas, lets see in the New Year together with all of our friends and make 2009 happier, better, safer :)
  7. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    Vikki - I'm the same, i can go months without SH'ing too. Christmas is such a difficult time of year no matter how you are feeling because it is a time of rememberance of both the good and the bad. I remember the first time i cut, it started at christmas time with the very sissors i cut the paper to wrap my family presents with. I wish i had never started cutting but i now forgive why i did at the time and i hope that you can do the same to yourself. I understand why you feel you need to. Sometimes it is the last resort. But i wish it weren't.

  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please try to stop cutting yourself Vikki. I know that it can be very hard once you have started, but you have to try to resist the urge. It gives you a momentary release of endorphins and pain killer hormones, but it leaves your body with so many scars. It's such a destructive coping mechanism. Please try to resist the urge. :hug:
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Vikki, I'm sorry you felt the need to cut. I'm always here for you,anytime :hug:
  10. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Vikki :hug: Am here if you need someone to talk to. Luv you. :hug:
  11. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    MY legs is absolutely killing me :cry: I can't walk properly. I'm such a fucking idiot.
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: Vikki ,here if you need to talk!
  13. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    :hug: :hug: I'm here if you wanna talk about anything anytime Viks.
  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Is it hurting because you sliced it up? :unsure:
  15. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    I know we dont talk much hun but im here if u need to chat



    keep your chin up darlin. you can do this. im sure x

  16. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    Wish i could help you...
    Lea :hug:
  17. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Yeah, i keep writing words.

    I feel the urge. Not just cutting. I have the urge to go so much further. A saying comes to mind. I wanna test it. I wanna die. I wanna go out of everyones lifes and never come back.

    I need to cut and i need to cut now.
  18. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Have you tried cutting into something soft, like a pillow?

    :hug: It sounds like this is really overtaking you. Not only the self harming but that you're wanting to die so badly, is that right?

    What are all the feelings that you're trying to say through cutting?
  19. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Have you bandaged your legs up vikki? Please use rubbing alcohol or hand sanitizer to clean up your wounds so that they don't get infected. :hug:
  20. SpencerA

    SpencerA Well-Known Member

    rest up sweetie, get some savlon healing cream, its good for cuts burns and grazes. how about have a warm bath, not too hot just warm so you can relax your muscles n stuff xx
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