Can't take anymore of this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by RedSox12, Oct 29, 2012.

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  1. RedSox12

    RedSox12 New Member

    I'm afraid to die, but even more scared to live this life. Ive been to several doctors, tried every medicine, NOTHING WORKS. I have social anxiety, generalized anxiety, panic disorder, emetophobia, agoraphobia, and haven't eaten a real meal in about 2 months. I'm so tired of being trapped in bed, not enough energy to do anything. I have constant, severe anxiety all day long. I take lorazepam but it doesn't do enough to even notice. I only have 1 way out, and I think it's time to end it all. The worst part is my absolute greatest fear is getting sick, and now I feel sick all the time. If I try to leave home, I start having a major panic attack before getting out of the driveway. I have a dr appointment this Friday, but I don't know how I can leave to go there...it's like a 45 minute drive. Not sure whether to try one last time (even though I really don't know how I can do it) or end this life that has caused soo much pain.........decisions, decisions, decisions.
     
  2. fake.smiles92

    fake.smiles92 Member

    I know how you feel.. Not exactly, but close to it.
    just think of all the people that would miss you. think of the future you could have.

    Just please, don't do anything.. For yourself. Hell, if not for yourself, stay safe for me. <3
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...I hope you keep your appointment. Is there someone who can go with you or who you can be in contact with so that you do not feel so alone? Sometimes, just knowing there is someone there, even by text, is comforting...please let us know how you are doing and welcome again
     
  4. RedSox12

    RedSox12 New Member

    Thanks for the encouragement guys! I'm going to try to get to the doctors Friday. I figure this is my last effort to get help, better give it my all : /
     
  5. Christian C

    Christian C Member

    Goodluck with your appointment RedSox12! Please let us all know how it goes!

    ~Christian
     
  6. RedSox12

    RedSox12 New Member

    Thanks so much! I will let your guys know ASAP!!! Hopefully I will bring better news with this doctor...6th times the charm right?!!
     
  7. RedSox12

    RedSox12 New Member

    Hey, just wanted to give you guys a quick update. I made it to my doctors appointment Friday!!! My doctor recommended me to the E.R. Where I was then transferred to a larger hospital. This is going to be my second night here (rough first day) but I am in a program getting treatment. This is very hard for me, but maybe I can leave here with a more positive outlook and LESS anxiety!!! I will give you a final update when I get home :) thanks for all the support!!!
     
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