Can't take it anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Slange, Feb 1, 2013.

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  1. Slange

    Slange Member

    I can't take it anymore. I can't take the anxiety. I am shaking and cold and sleep and food deprived and unable to do anything. Is suicide my only hope? Nothing else is working and I can't live like this.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun sorry you are struggling so Is there a church in your community that you can reach out to Also hun a food bank in your community is there not one If you are feeling suicidal hun go to emergency room and let them know you are and they will give you some support also a shelter hun they can give you a room for night and some food Reach out ok hun to the supports in your community hugs
     
  3. Slange

    Slange Member

    Thank you ao much. I do have food. I just cannot eat it, so anxious.

    Tonight (east coast, USA) I am realizing I am in a crisis. I am full throttle anxious. The shaking is out of control and my heart is skipping.

    I think I have to make the decision to go to a hospital for treatment. So I was looking on the 'net to see which hospitals near here have psychiatric services. We have a local hospital here but its psych services are not good. I was thinking that just making this decision to get help was making me feel a bit better but alas I'm shaking again.

    Alcohol is vicious. It calms me down but just temporarily. So I get more. And more. And more. Knowing how bad that is doesn't stop me. I just desperately want relief. Yet, after a while the alcohol does not provide the relief it did before. Not sure why. But do I stop? No.

    So I urge anyone reading this not to turn to alcohol if you can help it. It seems good at first but later it will turn against you but by then you may be hooked.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you are talking here hun reaching out here because it helps to release some of the anxiety you know you are not alone then. If you can hun go to hospital and get some help ok if only for awhile you will at least not be alone but have someone to reach out to for support sending you warm hugs hun wrap up warm blanket ok that will help you feel safe some hugs
     
  5. listless

    listless Banned Member

    I can fully relate-years ago life got really bad for me and I went through something similar. The best thing I can recommend is to force yourself to eat and sleep on time. Also take some sedatives, I heard that they can calm you down so you can function normally. I bought them when I was going through my anxiety attacks but since I don't trust any medicines that could affect my brain, I just kept them with me till I felt I had to take them. Fortunately after 2 weeks or so I was over it and had been able to resolve the major issues in my life.

    Definitely consider seeing a doctor and talk to someone about what is troubling you.
     
  6. Slange

    Slange Member

    Thanks Listless. I'd love it if this resolved in time. Right now I do not think so. I will get some Ativan tho I too dont like medication. They will give me something at hospital when I go. A week ago I was fine and now my life is over. Everyone struggles with something and it's when that something is irreversible that it can't resolve. That's me. I can't believe at my young ago (50s) that its over. My biggest concern is my wonderful husband and my wonderful dog. I so hope my husband finds someone else so he can be happy and cared for. In long run he will be better off I know but in short term I so worry that he'll be devastated when I leave. I'm trying to time a note to friends to take care of him. If it were not for him I think this would be a lot easier. I worry for my mom too. But I can't go on like this. I wish for all of you struggling that you find a resolution and happiness and a return to our lives. Stay strong. For me, I can't stand it another second.
     
  7. listless

    listless Banned Member

    You're welcome Slange, I'm very sorry to hear that you feel you have no other options. If your life is ok otherwise, income and so forth-then you should know it's probably psychological and you can probably get treatment for that.

    I know many times I've thought how easy it would be to just end it all. All the mistakes, sorrows, hate, the feeling of being left out or left behind and so on would vanish with that one act of 'self-deliverance.' Unfortunately in my case I have a few too many things keeping me around. I'd like to let my elderly mother pass away first because she's socially inept and becoming more senile-only I can put up with her and look after her. I know my other family members would throw her on the streets-they are that cruel and sadistic, or they'd make her life a living hell.

    After that there's little to hold me back...aside from living the life I wanted. I've made my goal 50, (I'm 40 now)...so if things are just as crappy as they are today for me at that time, then I'll end things. You're right we all our suffering in our own ways. I'd like to tell you to stick around but only you can decide that. I wish you all the best.
     
  8. Slange

    Slange Member

    Thanks. Unfortunately the trigger that started this latest episode of anxiety is physical and irreversible. I wish it were only 'only' psychological as I'd believe it, too, with treatment, would pass. But the physical issue, which is devastating, is very real and permanent. Add to that my unbearable anxiety over it. It makes life unbearable and the physical consequences of the anxiety are pretty damaging too (wicked over stressed heart, alcohol, smoking, no sleep....). My only real concern how is my husband. I did go to the hosp. And they gave me a couple of anxiety meds, which I hate, make me groggy. I was surprised they did not admit me but referred me to doctor.
     
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