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Cant take it!!!

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Well-Known Member
I just can't take all this SHIT!!! Something is going to BREAK!! SOMETHING!!! I cant take much more!! It's all too much!!

Besides all this listed below (from another thread I posted earlier) I just went for a walk to clear my head and find a damn envelop from my apartment manager on my door!! I need to somehow provide verification of income and assets in 14 days... UGH!!!! How the hell can I do all this??? :cry:

So today my food stamps refilled, I finally got some food, but I'm way too concerned with money. And when I eat I feel sick for some reason.. I think I may have a gluten allergy because I've been having issues with certain foods, so today I bought all things without gluten..I got a whole cooked chicken, some gluten free crackers, some sweet and sour sauce to make another stir fry, hummus for crackers, apple juice, and some danimals yo-gurt for breakfast..

Recently I have been hardly eating because I feel sick and I'm so concerned with money..

I currently live on Disability and it is hard to do anything being in the USA.. It seems if I try to get a real job, I fear loosing my health coverage. And then it may also affect my Disability funds and my Food stamps.. So I have to find something I can get payed for with cash.. And I guess for now I may have something.. I have someone in my therapy program who just got a job at this pizza place and I may get payed from her to help with sign holding and to help re-do the place and get business.. As it is currently I basically see about $272 a month total for food, toilet paper, cat supplies, etc.. Everything except bills.. I'm really hating the USA right now..

So I lost my brother in April 2005 a day before he turned 13.. And it always is a hard time of year for me. I also lost an Aunt to cancer in March of 2003.. Then I have some past history of suicide attempts.. One in particular where I was dead for a little while.. Yet I can't seem to understand what really happened.. Anyway, it's hard to explain..

I just had a doctor visit with my new doctor yesterday.. Had to get STD tested because there was this jerk guy at my complex who used me for sex few weks ago.. Anyway, I was checked and got a pill for yeast infection and took the pill yesterday.. I'm worried about the STD results and I will actually know those results on my birthday, as I go back there for the results of that April 14th.. As well as I got my blood drawn for gluten allergies.. So I'll know that too.. And I get my 2nd Aids swab then.. Sigh.. Was really uncomfortable.. Anyway, I am still waiting for the pharmacy here to get in the cream stuff I'm supposed to use.. Unfortunately my insurance wont pay for it and I'm not sure how much it is.. I may end up not even getting it.. bleh..

So April 9th I get to do this horse training to be a volunteer at a horse therapy place.. I'm kinda excited to go and can't wait.. My only concerns are if I will be able to handle being out so much and use so much energy with what little food I eat and be OK..

I have a girlfriend now and I'm excited about that, but I'm also very nervous as I've had a lot of relationship problems in the past.. And I really don't want to screw this up..

My Birthday is April 14th, I'll be 20

I haven't had a suicide attempt yet.. And thats good considering I've had one every April since 2007..

One of my Aunts will have surgery for a pacemaker for her heart on April 8th (Day before Horse thing) And I'm a bit concerned as I have already lost people this time of year that I was close to..


Owner Emeritus
Just sending you a lot of :hug:s. I can really relate to some of what you're going through, especially with disability. I'm on it too, and it can really be tough to make it because the government does everything they can to make it hard for us to get off the system and be able to survive.

I really hope things work out with your new GF. :D

Just want you to know I'm listening, and I care.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Just go to bank and get them to print off all your incoming cheques okay that will verify your income hugs to you the rest well take one thing at a time swift okay don't worry about it until you have too


Well-Known Member
I can do that for my account.. Tho I have a payee with my disability and don't even see the account nor how much is even in it besides what they tell me.. I'm not sure if I need to go to a Social Security Office and get it printed staying how much I receive or what I'm supposed to do..

I'm starting to feel a little better now tho.. These feelings are coming in waves.. One moment I'm super overwhelmed and crying, next I'm angry and want to break something, next I'm doing OK. It's all really confusing.. And a lot to deal with..

Thank you for your replies.. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
do you not have a cheque stub that states how much you get each month I like your idea too just go to office and get them to give you a statement hugs


Well-Known Member
No I don't because my payee receives my disability check and they pay my bills.. The only part of the money I see is $18 a week that is transferred to my bank account each Thursday night.. That and my food stamp card that refills every 1st of the month with $200.. I think I'll ask my therapist Monday if she knows what I need to do.. :hug:
call the payee and let him/her know that you need a copy of your cheque. it should be really easy for them to get that to you. sending safe hugs...


Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend
You might be able to contact the social security people as well and have them maybe fax the info over to the apartment manager. And it wouldn't hurt to talk to the apartment manager to let them know what's going on.
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