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cant take it....

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impulse617

Well-Known Member
#1
Every day is becomig soooo hard. I need a miracle to turn things around and I just don't see that happening. I just wanna close my eyes and disappear. I'm not loved and it hurts soooooo bad deep inside...its to much pain for me to handle, I can't take being alone anymore. No ones gonna miss me when I'm gone so why should I stay??? People are so much better off without me. All I do is mess things up, I can never keep a meaningful relationship in my life. Anytime I get close to someone, they just always walk away in th end.

Fuck life!! I'm so sick of caring about people only to have them turn on me and break my heart in the end!!! I wanna be done with this miserable life, my life is meaningless and I have no reason to be here! I have to go, in my heart I know its the right thing to do....
 
#2
Every day is becomig soooo hard. I need a miracle to turn things around and I just don't see that happening. I just wanna close my eyes and disappear. I'm not loved and it hurts soooooo bad deep inside...its to much pain for me to handle, I can't take being alone anymore. No ones gonna miss me when I'm gone so why should I stay??? People are so much better off without me. All I do is mess things up, I can never keep a meaningful relationship in my life. Anytime I get close to someone, they just always walk away in th end.

Fuck life!! I'm so sick of caring about people only to have them turn on me and break my heart in the end!!! I wanna be done with this miserable life, my life is meaningless and I have no reason to be here! I have to go, in my heart I know its the right thing to do....
Damn, we share much, where is that magic wand?
Miracles dont happen, but intention does change things.
I feel deep down i need to be loved by another, to have that closeness.
But if i really look inside, all i really need is to like myself again.
I made another mistake this weekend,i searched for that closeness and got it wrong again, as usual.
I have to be content in my own company first, but its hard.
I have decided to carry on doing the things i enjoy in life, i have nobody in real life, friends or family, except my kids and while they are so loved, there is something missing, its called adult love.
So, im going to be kind to myself, cook well, read, a little excercise, tend the garden maybe and take that space to be who i really want to be.
Im kinda figuring, when i do that, then the beauty within me will come out, im hoping that oneday someone will come and bask under its glow.
If they never do, thats ok, at least i can hold my own heart in the knowledge i have been kind to myself and others.
 
#3
I think that you can find some love and community here, and that can help you develop some face-to-face connections down the road

we're all injured here. we know what it's like to suffer. this is a place where you can talk about what is really going on with you. here is the start, and other connections can come eventually
 
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