cant take my feelings of lonieness..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by PHXROB, Jun 30, 2007.

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    PHXROB New Member

    i feel very bad at the moment of just so lonely... i have depression and social phobia. all i do is sit home on the computer and try to meet men (yes im gay but it not the reason im depressed)
    i go to work mon thru friday and spend the weekends here at my laptop, trying to meet people....... everybody that i write maybe one or two is interested in me for sex and then thats it...................... ive had 2 real realationships and im 39 years old....... and they have only lasted 2 years a piece...
    so the other years have been wasted... either they dont like what i look like. or im to fat. im 5 foot 6 195 200 lbs... have a belly yeah..... but if you love some one it should nt matter?????????

    anyway. i just feel like i should just kill myself and leave this world.. then i woulndt hurt so much....... my heart beats so fast... im hoping that it would just explode.......

    i have no friends, no love interest.. i feel no one is really intersted in me the person. its very hard to live with no one who wants to be be with you.
    you know what i mean.
    i think im a nice guy. i would give you the shirt off my back in needed...

    all i want is freinds or a lover a partner.. someone that would take me for me.....
    ive been thinking about suicide for a long time now..
    i would like to get a gun and try it that way. very quick i think i mean i think it would be...

    well im done talking now... maybe go take a nap or something.........
    have a good one. and maybe ill write again if im still here
  2. mykindofpain

    mykindofpain Guest

    sounds like your being gay has something to do with it. Being gay is fine in my book. You can't meet someone on one of the more respectable dating sites?
  3. Xhin

    Xhin Member

    Not Exactly sure if you posted here to just get your feelings out, if you wanted a response, help, or what. But here's my advice. Get out some, travel, If you have money, use it like no tomorrow, if you dont, focus on getting some. Occupy your time with thinking of ways to make your life a bit more.. succesful, and make use of yourself instead of slouching in your home waiting for someone to knock on your door. Things, people, feelings, they just dont happen right out of the blue. You have to go searching for it, and when that fails, look at yourself, examine yourself inside and out, see whats wrong with you, why does no one like you, exactly WHAT is keeping you away from the crowd. Is it the way you look? of course not. There are humoungous people out there, their bellies too big to fit through a door, but are surrounded by people who care for them. If anything, its your self image, how do you look at, yourself. If you look at yourself as a fat, lazy, stinky, slouch who lays in bed all day, then thats what you'll turn out to be, but it doesn't sound like that to me, it sounds more like your someone looking for the right person ((which will come when you get up, and get some friends)) and some one looking for a way out, but the only way they see is death. But of course, there's always 3 ways out. Remember that, there is ALWAYS, no matter WHAT, i mean lways three ways out of anything. Whether it be your situation, your weight, your popularity, there's always a way out, and the most severe one isn't always the best. I could sit here, and tell you exactly how to put your life back in order, but it's a life changing experience to figure it out yourself. And once you figure this out, you'll most likely get through anything buddy ^.~ nice hearing from you.
  4. Xhin

    Xhin Member

    Sorry for the double post

    No being gay has absolutely nothing to do with any of it.
  5. mykindofpain

    mykindofpain Guest

    <mod edit-gentlelday-insulting previous poster> Nothing wrong with being gay but it has affected him deeply. Cant you see a lot of his pain is a lack of love from a committed relationship.
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2007
  6. Xhin

    Xhin Member

    Oop sorry, i was gonna add more to that but i had to get away from the key board for a sec then i forgot XP but what i was getting at was being gay shouldnt have anything to do with it, i think anyone could have the same problem. is all, sorry about that last poster ("\o.o
  7. Satoji

    Satoji Member

    I agree with xhin for the most part, except for the gay thing. I'm not gay, but I am able to understand that most gay people feel really left out. The thing I suggest, is try to go to some gay clubs/events. Maybe you do meet somebody that is only there for sex, but there's also the chance that you meet a guy that you will be able to start a relationship with, but you'll never know unless you go out there and try to meet someone. And I think your image has nothing to do with it, its the confidense. If you desplay confidense then it is radiated off of you and people will draw themselves to you. So you have a gut so what? Unless your dissatisfied with it then try to change it, if it's not a big deal for you then don't ^^. I hope things go well and you do find a partner that you can have a lasting relationship with.
  8. mykindofpain

    mykindofpain Guest

    being gay has obviously affected his life real bad eaven if he won't admit. It sucks it not his fault. I have gay friends and they are excepted in my circle but in most of the world they are not and he just wants to fit in.
  9. Xhin

    Xhin Member

    I guess thats true to a certain degree, You've obviously veiwed the situation from his point of veiw and admire that greatly. However I have seen many popular, perhaps exceedingly popular gay people in my life, who not only have a circle of friends devoted to staying with them, but a whole society who accepts them for who they are. Merely that situation is what swayeds me to beleive that being gay has nothing to do with it. But what your saying highly probible, and I think the problem lies in the community he's subjected to. Maybe he's in the wrong group. Thats the way i look at it for i've been in a wrong 'group' before and have felt completely left out, even mocked for my own interests and my own well, essence. As if I were shuned from society, when in reailty, i was just out of the group I needed to be in. I transfered 'groups' after this, and felt right at home, my whole essence finally accepted by the people around me. But what scares me is that maybe he's searched, and couldn't find that certain 'group' he belongs to, thats why i suggested travelling, getting to know new people, just saying hi to some, and they'll be instantly attracted to you if they're apart of your, well, 'group. Thats the way i look at it, i really hope that helps ^^ and sorry for that post you took for an insult Mykindofpain!!! p.q I didn't mean it as mean or cruel in anyway!!!! I just re-read it and it sounds kinda harsh, sorry!!!!!!!!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 1, 2007
  10. mykindofpain

    mykindofpain Guest

    no prob xhin. Our differeneces in opinion might help him.
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