Can't take my life too much longer...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jlc20m, Nov 2, 2010.

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  1. jlc20m

    jlc20m Well-Known Member

    I can't tolerate being me for much longer. Being DID/CPTSD is driving me crazy!!!!!! I can't handle the behaviors/feelings of my alters and flashbacks and go to work and care for a sick mom, etc., etc., etc., ALL at the same time. Arg!!!!! Someone, please help!!!! :cry::depressed:nerves:

    jlc20m
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sounds like you need to take some time out just for you even if it is just 5 minutes to just breath slowly. TAlk with your doctor or therapist let them know you are feeling overwhelmed with everything okay Maybe get a med change to help you Try to change up your rountine okay do something different for you go for a walk listen to music you like but do something for you
     
  3. jlc20m

    jlc20m Well-Known Member

    Re: Can't take my life too much longer; spoiler for SI, etc.

    I'm not ungrateful for your kind words, please understand. Thank you for them. However, I can't take a break from what's going on in my head. I'm just so tired of all the crap from insiders: (1) their flashbacks of abuse that didn't happen to me and which I don't want to have any knowledge of; (2) their reactions to their abuse, i.e., suicidal feelings/urges and SI which I'm deeply ashamed of; (3) their strong urging of me to commit s*****e which is very tiring, distressing, and crazy-making; and (4) cult-aligned insiders who don't want us to talk to anyone and hurt the body through SI and threaten s*****e as a way to silence us.

    I have a new temporary T at an oupatient mental health department of a general hospital until my family doctor finds a psychiatrist in the community for me. One of the parameters of our temporary work together is that there is not to be any "uncovering work" or "DID work" so to not "destabilize" me. We are to focus on the CPTSD and major depression. But the DID is upfront and centre. I don't know how to bring this stuff up without being told I'm no supposed to be talking about it. Meanwhile, I'm soooooooooo overwhelmed. I don't know what to do. I don't see this new T until November 12th. I'm just freaking out. I don't know how to cope with "us"... The coping mechanism that saved our life as a kid is killing us now. Please help!!!!!!!

    jlc20m:blink::depressed
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not that kid okay you are an adult you are fighting a lesser evil now just emotions thoughts okay the evil is gone You can talk to your temporary therapist about your emotions your feelings of unstableness that all without talking about the past. Tell her you need some coping skills how to get through the rough spots until Nove 12 only 10 days now you can do that. You have already won the battle okay. Focus where you are live in the present moment okay with music with art with writing live here with the flashbacks tell yourself over and over they are just that a trick in the mind that all YOu know who you are now an adult not the child so keep intouch with that adult okay by keeping you here in the present Talk to your T just as for coping skills that all so you can stay stable for another 10 days Use crisis lines if you have too i do just to talk to them when your frightened okay and always can talk here too
     
  5. jlc20m

    jlc20m Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Violet. You are very kind to say such thoughtful things. It helps a lot...

    jlc20m:IrishDoll:
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i hope you are doing okay only 8 more days right i know it is hard battling everything inside i do that everyday but i learning to ignore them keeping busy is so important keeping incontact with people also when you have those triggers you need to talk to someone okay anyone yu trust i know who i am and who i am not. You know that too okay you the adult in charge strong I hope you talked to T about getting some of the coping skills to help you take care okay of you be good to you
     
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