Hi all. I've been sick since my 15th, I'm 19 now. I've been in terrible constant pain. A stomachache so bad it feels like someone's stabbed me with a knife, I'm nauseaus all the time, I only sleep one to two hours every night, and I puke my guts out on a daily basis. I basically live on yoghurt and food that gets pumped into my stomach in a little plastic tube. I'm 6''0, My weight dropped from 160 pounds when I was 15 to a measly 120 pounds. I'm so hungry I'm losing my mind, sometimes I'd just chew on what's left over of whatever the rest of the family ate at dinner, just to remember what actual food tastes like.But I have to spit it out again, because else I grow even sicker, it'll feel like my intestines are being shred to pieces, and I start to hurl and puke blood. The hunger is just gnawing on me. I have no friends left since I've basically locked myself into my room, I barely ever go out. I don't go to school anymore. A few months ago, finally, after years of examinations and going to hospitals they've been able to 'guess' at what I have, a paralyzed stomach. Finally I thought it'd go better, but no. They don't even know any treatments and have no clue about what to do and they just decided to send me to the hospital next week for more examinations. So, bye short-lived hope. Fuck you, life. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this crap. I'm seriously considering putting an end to this suffering before I get to that hospital. I can't smile or cry anymore. All I feel is hate and anguish. Oh, and the doctor told me I should quit smoking. And I don't do it all that much. Fuck you, doctor, that's the last thing I'm clinging on to and I'm not about to give it up even if it's to the last breath I take. Edit: I don't know how but I double posted the thread, sorry for that.