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Cant take the pressure anymore (shall I snap or not)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Crimsonsorrow, Nov 30, 2008.

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  1. Crimsonsorrow

    Crimsonsorrow Active Member

    Sry for troubling anyone who will read this, Ill try to make this short
    The usual story depression and constant suicidal thoughts reemerge.
    Is it madness or is it a man looking for justice and confused about getting screwed big time for life ?
    I know the admins dont like me because of my past. However, I cant change im simply beyond the point of no return. An ungrateful SOB who cant do anything. I feel the void has stopped engulfing my mind yet it is only because there is no more place for it to expand... I feel as if im wearing these strange glasses and as if I was a marionette dumped by everyone because its beyond fixing...
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2008
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Crimson arrow,
    You need to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. People have there own minds. Not everyone wishes something to happen to you. I think alot of that is your self defeating thoughts.
    I have read your posts and they weren't out of order. You sounded very supportive in them. Don't let a few drag you down. There are hundreds of people here on the forum who give support and advice and you are one of them. There are also alot who just read the posts and never say anything. I wish you all the best and if you don't have a therpist you might want to get one, they are very helpfull in getting your thoughts more positive. Good Luck!~Joseph~
  3. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    hey crimson, it sounds like you have been having a rough go of things. Stick around the forum and let us who care be your sounding board. Life is tough enough without feeling like noone cares enough to listen. if you need someone to talk to im available on msn if you have it. Add me, its karren05@live.com

  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    From my deepest sorrows have come some of my greatest successes...you are worth goodness, and no matter how you have behaved in the past, you can draw a line in the proverbial sand, and move on...all we have is today, and please know, you deserve a good one...big hugs, J
  5. Crimsonsorrow

    Crimsonsorrow Active Member

    I wish I could speak with someone at least in these hopefully last days. I apologize once again for this mindless wannabe suicidal rhetoric. It is just that everyday is pointless to me I cannot get my fix of adrenaline of happyiness and the physical pain is becoming unbearable. The real pain only is growing, becoming overshadowed with the mental pain. I wish I could talk in the triggering subjects about it (not on the forum overtly) but I got banned after my suicide attempt for talking BS on the chat and upsetting the admins. I do not know why do I return to this site maybe the core reason lies behind the fact that I do not have anyone anymore. All the relationships have been severed and I WANT JUSTICE or at least prove a point of the unjust treatment. Always I have been considered stubborn and obstinate depending on whether I won or lost. At my grave should I succeed they would only spit on the soil telling how selfish I am. Are they going to be right or not ? Who knows? I guess the ones that remain alive get to epitomize your life.
    I just cant let it go :( Every time the drugs kick in I feel as if before the accident and then I fall down. When I look at life in a perspective I realize the true passion in which I was completely engulfed in. Going against all odds to prove a point that you can polish a turd which I am I only fell hard my wings torn away from me forever. An empty shell is all that remains and a grim look in the mirror that urges you to punch it or at least bellow : GET OUT OF MY WAY...
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