Can't take this anymore.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by frozenprince, Nov 16, 2009.

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  1. frozenprince

    frozenprince Active Member

    I just can't.
    After having a GREAT day in which I was, insulted, degraded, demeaned, and publicly embarresed, I walked 2 miles home, went into the bathroom and well went.
    What my sister failed to tell me was that the toilet was just bleached, there's ammonia in urine, ammonia and bleach make mustard gas......

    so I layed in the bathroom, choking and gasping for air, I crawled four rooms to the stairs and lay there nearly blacking out for 20 minutes.

    My sister meanwhile, was 10 feet away as I lay on the stairs choking to death, she looked right at me as I was gasoing and heaving for air, and just walked away.

    Do I really not matter to anybody that much?
    That I can just lay there DYING and nobody will even care.....im just going to get my xxxxx
    I don't even know why in typing this, none of you give a fuck, nobody does, I have absolutely nobody.......

    I probably am going to chiken out and just cut my legs and forearm again cause you know im just a fucking coward,

    I wish I was dead.
    I wish I was fucking dead.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2009
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    How awful...but it is your sister who should be this upset...I hope she never needs anyone...please do not judge your worth according to a person like her...big hugs, J
     
  3. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    Hi :)
    I'm not going to tell you how much I care, I leave it up to you to judge that...
    But I am truly sorry for such a worthless day, and the disappointing on your sister;
    I have 2 kids myself, and honestly sometimes it seems they hate eachother but I hope it's just temporary, and maybe she was having a bad day herself?
    It doesn't justify such careless behaviour, but I also think it should be her feeling so bad.
    I hope you don't harm yourself, please try to take a (or lots of) a deep breath, maybe find something to distract you, or that makes you feel good.
    Take good care of you
     
  4. frozenprince

    frozenprince Active Member

    Fuck my family, fuck my life, Fuck everybody and everything......
    It never gets better, its never going to get better.....
     
  5. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    How old is your sister?

    :hug:
     
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