I just can't. After having a GREAT day in which I was, insulted, degraded, demeaned, and publicly embarresed, I walked 2 miles home, went into the bathroom and well went. What my sister failed to tell me was that the toilet was just bleached, there's ammonia in urine, ammonia and bleach make mustard gas...... so I layed in the bathroom, choking and gasping for air, I crawled four rooms to the stairs and lay there nearly blacking out for 20 minutes. My sister meanwhile, was 10 feet away as I lay on the stairs choking to death, she looked right at me as I was gasoing and heaving for air, and just walked away. Do I really not matter to anybody that much? That I can just lay there DYING and nobody will even care.....im just going to get my xxxxx I don't even know why in typing this, none of you give a fuck, nobody does, I have absolutely nobody....... I probably am going to chiken out and just cut my legs and forearm again cause you know im just a fucking coward, I wish I was dead. I wish I was fucking dead.