Can't take this shit anymore.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Danilson, Jan 26, 2012.

  1. Danilson

    Danilson New Member

    Hey, im Dan, im 15. I was diagnosed with depression two years ago. A lot triggered my depression, my Grandad and my Great uncle died within three months of each other, I was bullied and my Mum and Dad splitt up shortly later. I slowly been getting better. I've recently been feeling terrible, I've thought about ending it all. I'm really scared. When I was diagnosed I had too stay off school for a year and a half as I wasn't fit enough too go in. When I was off school I attempted suicide and my mum found me bleeding in the sink. Since then my relationship with my Dad has deteriorated and now we hardly ever speak, I go too his house every two weeks and would love to have a conversation with him but I don't know what too talk too him about anymore. We used too watch a lot of football together, but when mum and dad splitt up we couldn't afford to go and watch wolves play. Recently because i've been getting worse my doctor and councillor have upped my doseage of citallapram from 20mg too 30mg. its helped a bit but I still feel like i've started all over again with my battle with depression. What worries me the most at the moment is my relationship with my mum. In the last three months we've had really bad arguments. Some people would say a bad argument is shouting at each other with the occasional swear word. Our arguments ARE TERRIBLE. She's chucked my laptop at me multiple times. I've had three laptops because shes broken my others, luckily i get her too claim on the house insurance and the last time she did it i ended up pulling her TV off her wall. What worries me the most is she cannot handle me anymore. She's said that she might have too put me into care. She's a single mum with two kids, working full time and she suffers from chron's disease (don't know how to spell it). Because of her illness she has too take steroids and it has made her even more moody. As im 15 i've just sat some of my exams. I didn't exactly get to pick what I wanted too do as I missed out on the choices because I was at home ill with my depression. I still don't know what I want too do with my life, its coming towards my school year and im leaving school for college at the end of the year. All I want is to be mentally stable and get along with my family. I can't stand it anymore.
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa and great uncle. :hug: It can be really hard to lose people you care about. Sorry to hear about the bullying, I've dealt with that too. You said you can't really talk to your dad, we don't always know what to say to someone but you can start small. Just ask how his day was or something and slowly get into deeper conversation. I wish I knew what to say about the fights with your mom. There's always fighting within my family too. I guess the best thing to do is to distance yourself so you don't argue. I hope things will get better for you soon.
     
  3. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    I want to say it will get better but obviously there are no promises in this world. When I was 15-18 I used to have massive arguments with my mum. I hit her, I called her awful names. Now we get along fine. If you don't feel like you can talk to her about any of this then find someone you can talk to - a friend, a family member, or even someone on here. I think it helps to get it all out. I wasted a lot of time waiting for other people to get things going but in the end I figured if I want anything to happen in life then I have to force it to. Try and make the most of college. Find something to aim for.