Can't take this...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SashaJade, Jun 7, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. SashaJade

    SashaJade Well-Known Member

    I officially feel like a lost cause.

    I've spoken to 4 different professionals about how i'm feeling, speaking in explicit detail about it. I've told them i've been looking up methods, that I know where I could buy supplies and that I know my days are numbered. The only thing I haven't told them is the day i'm planned for. Theres only really one thing delaying the process - and thats the need for money to buy what I need. But that day draws closer and closer. The closer it gets the more I feel in my heart of hearts that this is the right thing for me to do.

    There is nothing left here for me, no real life friends, no job, no future. My family couldn't give a toss about how i'm feeling right now, and well I highly doubt they will even miss me when i'm gone.

    I'm posting this to give advance warning in case I disappear in the next few days... You'll all know why.

    The images and voices are so intrucive now that all I can see and hear is suicide. I can hear myself thinking that could come in handy, or i can see an image in my head as clear as if I were looking at a photograph of the scene where it all takes place. The colours sounds and smells are so real. The crimson red, pale white skin, the metallic smell in the air.

    This thought pattern isn't normal... But I shall only be dealing with it a few days longer.

    On a final note, i'd like to say thank you to all those who have supported me through out my short time here on SF, I owe everything to you. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I know I will. I'm sorry for everything.
     
  2. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    SAMMMMM you dont need to do this hun you can get rid of those thoughts without acting on them. If you are in the uk you can voluntarily commit yourself to the psych ward without having to be referred but you need to push for it. Ive no idea who your "support" workers are but obviously they are not doing their job. Do you have a care plan in place even? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    If you don't tell them that you're actually going to do it or have a set date, they won't take you seriously. So maybe you should try that.
     
  4. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Sam,

    I'm aware of your frustration, and all I can say is go to A&E, and don't leave until you get a room in the ward. It's not worth the heartache that will follow.

    We care for you here, and we can only do so much. However, I get the feeling that you will need to take your method with you to A&E, in order to get them to listen.
     
  5. SashaJade

    SashaJade Well-Known Member

    Sarah, I have a care plan not that they stick to it... They know i'm highly likely to get stuff like this going on and they pay no attention to the plan or to me.

    TooShy; I've told them i'm doing it... I just haven't told them when. They don't listen... I told them last time I was going home and trying to kill my self and they just let me go. I just don't understand them.

    Jason; I've got it all worked out... Don't worry.
     
  6. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    Sam, being that you're still here, you obviously didn't kill yourself when you told them you were going to (though I don't know if you attempted or not). And I'm guessing that something you said or did must have made them sense that you weren't really going to. They pay close attention to that stuff. If they don't think or believe that you're serious, they won't take you seriously. So, again, my advice is to say you have everything you need to do it (name what those things are if they ask), and tell them when exactly you're planning on doing it. It should work.
     
  7. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    awwww hun.

    noooo

    please
     
  8. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    not heard anything for an hour and a half now ??? sam u still about ??
     
  9. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I hope you get yourself to A&E Sam. It doesnt need to come to this. You have so much to offer this world Sam you truely do its just this cloud over your head clouding your judgement right now. Please ring or text me if you need me hun. I hope you are safe hun I love you lots xxxxx
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.