I officially feel like a lost cause. I've spoken to 4 different professionals about how i'm feeling, speaking in explicit detail about it. I've told them i've been looking up methods, that I know where I could buy supplies and that I know my days are numbered. The only thing I haven't told them is the day i'm planned for. Theres only really one thing delaying the process - and thats the need for money to buy what I need. But that day draws closer and closer. The closer it gets the more I feel in my heart of hearts that this is the right thing for me to do. There is nothing left here for me, no real life friends, no job, no future. My family couldn't give a toss about how i'm feeling right now, and well I highly doubt they will even miss me when i'm gone. I'm posting this to give advance warning in case I disappear in the next few days... You'll all know why. The images and voices are so intrucive now that all I can see and hear is suicide. I can hear myself thinking that could come in handy, or i can see an image in my head as clear as if I were looking at a photograph of the scene where it all takes place. The colours sounds and smells are so real. The crimson red, pale white skin, the metallic smell in the air. This thought pattern isn't normal... But I shall only be dealing with it a few days longer. On a final note, i'd like to say thank you to all those who have supported me through out my short time here on SF, I owe everything to you. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I know I will. I'm sorry for everything.