Can't Talk to Professionals

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dexj36, Jul 10, 2013.

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  1. dexj36

    dexj36 Member

    I need to talk to a professional, but the problem is if I do they will hospitalize me immediately. The problem with Florida is that even if I'm not planning on doing anything and just want to explain how these thoughts relax me and make me feel better they will baker act me.

    If they baker act me, I will be sent to a hospital.. These hospitals are.. just awful. I cannot go back to one. I will absolutely lose it if I went to one. They make you so miserable that you just fake your way to get out as soon as possible.

    What do I do?
  2. Inker19

    Inker19 Well-Known Member

    I've never once told a therapist that I've ever even thought about suicide once. I'm so afraid of the consequences because they're more concerned about covering their asses from lawsuits than anything else.
  3. hi dex. i also have this problem. if i told my psychiatrist that i feel like driving off a bridge the last time we talked (which i did), i'd probably be sent back to the looney bin. and i agree, those places are awful. and i definitely don't want to go back again. so what do you do? i haven't quite figured that one out yet. but i do know that going to the chat room and just talking made me feel better the last couple of days since i joined this forum. no judgements, and friends are there to listen to what's going on with you. what's nice about chatting online is that you can be completely honest -- which is easier to do behind a computer screen than it is sitting with someone face to face who has a horrified look on their face after what you've just disclosed. to play devil's advocate, if you don't think you're safe, i hope you have someone you can call or a place you can go where you can't hurt yourself. i know thats easier said than done, bc i too have struggled with getting to a safe place. mostly because when i'm at a low point, i don't want to be safe and i don't want to be saved. anyway, if you ever wanna share what youre going through or just talk, feel free to send me a message. i'm not perfect, and i won't have all the answers, but i do understand what its like to deal with those morbid thoughts. and i do know what its like to fake my way out of a hospital or fake my way through a lot of things to make people feel more comfortable and less concerned. but let me tell ya, faking is EXHAUSTING. sometimes i just wanna let it all out and say it out loud without the fear of my mom breaking down into tears. it sucks. being depressed sucks. pretending not to be depressed sucks. but what doesn't suck is knowing that you're not alone.
    hope you're doing okay today.

  4. dexj36

    dexj36 Member

    Thank you guys.

    I don't know what to do. I saw the psychiatrist today. I'm a participant for some ADHD research and every visit he's required to ask if I've thought of hurting myself. And every time I say no because 1) I'm not going back to those darn hospitals and 2) I need the income from the research.
    He's also.. well.. quite a crappy doctor. I could do so much better. But you're right, he's just covering his butt. That's all they do.

    Anyway, I'm trying to enter the chat room, but I don't think it's compatible with mac. :(

    I don't really have anyone to call. My friends showed their true colors when my boyfriend broke up with me. I stayed with my closest friend that night, but since then she hasn't even asked how I am.. she never contacts me or anything. There are like 2 people I can talk to, but I am becoming a burden because all our conversations are so negative.

    I have another question: Does anyone else ever get depression headaches?
  5. sorry your computer isn't cooperating with the chat room system. i wonder if theres something you need to download like java.
    that sucks about your friends. people really do show their true colors at the worst times. i've lost a few friends bc i cna be so morbid at times.
    i used to get headaches ALLLLL TTTTHHHHEEEE TTTTIIIMMMEEEE. It was like someone was taking a battle axe to my head. but since i've been on a medicine that regulates blood pressure i get headaches very rarely.
  6. ravens

    ravens Life is good.

    There must be some good professionals who wont send you away if you have suicidal thought? How can they just send you away for thinking that? isnt there rights
  7. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    A medical professional is mandated by law to take action if a client/patient is dangerous to others or to themselves. Just discussing suicidal thoughts that you do not intend to act upon is generally not enough, but of course this is subject to the interpretation of the medical professional. It is important though, if you're receiving professional help, that you be completely honest and not hide anything... otherwise, you cannot expect a proper treatment to result from it. There are ways, however, to present things in order to avoid the fears of mandated hospitalization. Work on your presentation and delivery, but don't keep things from therapy. Just my own thoughts on it, of course.
  8. ravens

    ravens Life is good.

    Hmm. I dont know if i can tell them that much. I dont have any plans to harm myself just thinking. I am not going to a hospital thats for sure. I would rather tell my second cousin about this she understands.
  9. dexj36

    dexj36 Member

    I just can't risk it though. My career would end. My schooling would suspend. Everything would go in reverse and it would be disastrous consequences for the future. That's the problem.

    And I acknowledge the future! But it is so stringent that just asking for help is so risky.
  10. ravens

    ravens Life is good.

    I feel the same way things would go way, way worse if I ever ended up in a hospital. It is a tough situation Dexj
  11. dexj36

    dexj36 Member

    I just wish these head aches would end. Ugh. They pull me even lower. I can't function with them. I feel so void of life.
  12. dexj36

    dexj36 Member

    Ok I'm in the chatroom, but no one is chatting. I put myself in the main room too.. I don't see anything
  13. dexj36

    dexj36 Member

    *facepalm* nevermind i figured it out
  14. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I have found that its very safe to tell a therapist or psychiatrist that I have the thoughts. Because I make sure to tell them I would never act on them. I have known other people who talk about this and are not as reassuring as I am. Still their therapist does not go into a fear pattern. But of course there are some therapists who would go into fear. I cannot imagine one going into fear if you were clear that they are thoughts you would not act on. I am very careful. And even I feel okay saying it that way. Its better than saying nothing.
  15. arrowpenny

    arrowpenny Member

    I haven't been feeling very stable for a week now off and on. I don't want to go to the hospital. I have been there before for suicidal feelings. All they do is keep you for 3 days, change your meds and put you in groups with strangers to talk with either cbt or dbt. If I do decide to go to the emergency room and be admitted for a few days it will get back to my doctor. I have spent 5 years with other doctors who would not prescribe me klonopin for my anxiety and agoraphobia and this doctor I have been seeing for 2 years does. So if she knows that I am suicidal she will take it away from me thinking I could overdose on it and then I would be back at square 1 trying to deal with going outside to get other forms of medical help for my teeth and getting to the grocery store or whatever else I need to survive. I am just gritting my teeth and baring the feelings and chatting in tons of chatrooms at all hours of the night until I feel better and it passes.
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