i have ritalin, its usefull i need it for my add. but i also feel like killing myself and cant tell my therapist because if i do ill be taken of ritalin, i feel like shit because even with the ritalin its a tall order to fix the problems that are mainly causing my depression. but i cant share it with my therapist or psychiater or anything, they only think im on add, and i wish i could tell them im still feeling like killing myself of alot but i cant do it, i dont know what to do i dont want to share my pain with friends because i will bore them because i tend to rant on and on about the same subject completely disecting it and giving my own theories boring the shit out of them, and my biggest fear is being boring. i tried talking to people online but i cant find someone with long enough patience, they all say therapists are for these kind of problems but thats the problem, im afraid i cant tell them because they will either lock me up, take me off ritalin or just do nothing. what should i do, any suggestions?