Why does everything have to be so goddamn difficult?! I HATE this!!! Why can't I be like a fucking normal kid and worry about normal things, and be happy?! And then, after I've seen a counselor and learned to hate her (after a mere 2 sessions), after finding out that what I thought was my last alternative turns out to be a lady who doesn't really give a fuck (cold, insensitive bitch), after deciding that I just wouldn't have the problem, to ignore it like I had before, after all that, they've got to turn around and make it hard on me again!! Can't they all see I'm doing the best I can?! I have almost all the lines memorized, isn't that enough? Why do they have to pick on the kiss scenes? Don't they understand that it was my first kiss ever? I don't even like the girl (as a matter of fact, I loathe and despsie her, the stupid prep), but I kissed her anyway because they wanted me to and that's what was written in the script. And now they're going to pick on it?! At least I kissed her!! How do you expect me to be more passionate and loving and realistic about my first kisses with a girl I hate?! I don't care, I don't want to kiss her, can't you see. Just leave me alone!!! And I want to cut... ...oh, so badly, I want to cut--but I'm scared. All I have on me is my razor blade. I need to use some real pressure this time, and with a razor blade that would be dangerous. I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! I DON'T CARE!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for wasting this space and your time.