Cant think of a title.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Growling Badger, Sep 18, 2007.

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  1. I dunno.

    I pulled myself together. Got a new job. More than a new job, heard my calling from God to further His work. I'm a professional, people rely on me. But here I am. Still with suicide stuck to my brain. I wont do it, as too many people rely on me, it would hurt my family too. But that puts pressure on. I think my suicide attempts were not in hind sight but were self harm to alleviate the pressure. I wanted suicide but my brain wouldn't let me so it came out as self harm, if you assess it. It kind of pisses me off coz I want it to be but I am restricted because of my love for other people. I just wanna lose control and do it. May be one day. Hopefully soon. I feel like a hippocrit coz these feelings are not right.
     
  2. Shyfear

    Shyfear Well-Known Member

    Hey there,

    I don't know your story but I want to tell you that I am so proud of you for not giving up and for trying to get your life together! :hug: You are amazing.

    It is possible that it may have been self harm instead, I've never done it but I heard it relieves a lot of pressure. I hope you dont still do it..

    I think that having people rely on you will save you. I know it hurts being here, but maybe it would hurt worse if you were gone. Well not for you, but for all of those other people, they would be devestated. As much as I hate the guilt trip that prevents suicide (because if it weren't for it, I would have been gone long ago), but it does save lives.

    Again, I am so proud of you. Keep holding on! I love you.
     
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