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cant think of a title

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Vitreledonellidae, Sep 20, 2008.

  1. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    no cant even think of a title, because its like a tornado in my head or something, just writing everything down thats on my mind, cant focus on thinking of a title, sorry.
    My life is a choas, I lost control again, I dont know what to do anymore.
    The only things I can think of that will make me feel better are all the things I banned out of my life, drinking, selfharming, oding, and bulimia. I said to myself I never wanted that again, but my bulimia is back, my suicidal thoughts are back, thinking about selfharming way too much.
    Everything goes wrong, yeah everything, it seems like there isnt a thing I can do right, I am so paranoid, i dont really have time to do things for myself, because the whole day im doing things for others, it cost me so much energy to do things, I do most of them, but its emotionally so exhausting. I cant handle all those other people, I cant even walk around normal outside in public. I just want to be alone or at least have a day for myself. But I cant, people depend on me.
    I lost control of everything. I never cry, but ive been crying for at least an hour now, and I cant make it stop. I dont know what to do, I dont know who I am, Im so lost, Im freaking out. Im too scared to tell whats going on, to admit im so sick of life again, letting everyone down, all the energy they put in me, was useless. But Im going crazy, I need help..
  2. Jubbly

    Jubbly Member

    Hey, sweetie.
    The energy people put into you could never be useless. It's a gift, out of love. If they really love you and you're still hanging on, any amount of energy and compassion necessary to get you back on your feet is more than worth it. Don't let your fear of disapppointing them convince you to keep it all inside of you. Ask for help. You'll get it.
    Beyond that, I've got no sage advice for you. I don't really know your situation. If it's a day you need, I'd recommend you take it. Everyone needs a day to themselves every now and then, to heal and regroup-- people will understand. It's admirable that you give so much of yourself to others, but don't let it go to the point where it drains you completely.
    Don't hide your pain from others.
    Love you.
  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    oh hun :sad:

    i wish i could make it all better for you

    am here for you if you need me

    love u xx