I've been sitting here on the forum for the past three hours and everytime I think ok time to get up, a post or a comment comes up and I'm still sitting here. It's a good thing really, all the time I'm on here I feel like I'm living and moving amongst real people, and I don't feel so alone and cut off. But I know that today I've got to start sorting some things out. I've started with a new therapist seeing him for 5 sessions altogether now and after the last one I've come away thinking bollocks the guy is an almost total waste of space in terms of what I need. Only he's all I've got, so I'm running rings around myself trying to tell myself oh it's just me and my defences and projections and all the other psych jargon I can think of and at the end of the day that's bollocks too. Doesn't matter how much of it is what I'm contributing to it - it's his job to get through to me, not my job to have to keep endlessly explaining what I think he should be doing to help me. So today I'm going to have to face the fact that yet again I'm going to have to deal with my pain and my problems and the evil in my head by myself, all alone again, all the same old stuff round and round in my head. No real point to this post I suppose. Just saying where I'm at and it's not a good place.