I don't really know why I'm writing here, it's not a crisis really.. It feels like the depression is just getting worse. My new meds are not working yet of course, but I don't think they will work. Getting out of bed in the morning is usually so hard. If I don't have something I have to do at a spesific time, it can take me hours to even sit up in bed. When I'm out of bed I can function for a while, blocking out my thoughts and do a few things, but when the evening comes depression take over. I keep playing with the thought of ending my life because I don't want to live like this for years. There have been better periods in my life, but they don't last, I always end up feeling like this. The lonelyness doesn't really help either, but that's mainly my fault since I isolate from my friends and family as much as I can. My mask is old and I fear it will break if I spend too much time with them. There is no point to this post really. I'm tired of living like this and I wish I could die..