It's starting to hurt to think now. I half way attempted suicide last night. I played Roulette with pills. Either I died from the amount I took or I had a nice "trip". Obviously I lived which is a fucking shame to be honest. I hit an all time low last night was texting my friend from the forums and told her what I was doing. I freaked her out and I'm sorry for that (You know who you are). I'm starting to become a burden now I guess. Putting stress on other forum members who are suicidal........ She's my only friend and I'm loosing her from the shit I do. I can't even get out of bed anymore. I haven't showered in about 5 days or changed clothes either. I'm so fucking lonely. I don't know what to do. I'm going to go sleep for the rest of the day...