Sitting here dreading going to work tomorrow. I have social anxiety and I am not good at being assertive, and one of my coworkers has been very rude to me lately. I am afraid that he might keep acting this way, and even more so I am afraid of leaving work tomorrow night feeling stupid again, like I did yesterday. I felt pathetic and weak that I didn't have the guts to stand up to him and be assertive. And what is more, the rudeness is subtle, so it's not like I can complain about harassment (and even if I could I probably wouldn't for fear of being a snitch). I know my life isn't as bad as some people's out there, but so what? Just the fact that they live in the same world as I do and yet they suffer so horribly is enough reason to me to want to die. I don't want to live in such an awful reality any more. But even more than that... I hate the way I look. I hate: -my height: 5'1. Sure some say it's cute and it could be worse but still, I feel like less of a woman for it. -how young I look: I'm 21 and without makeup I have been told I look 12, with makeup maybe 16 -my hands: as stupid as it sounds, they are really small and I am self-conscious of them. I've been teased about it before and I feel like a freak, and that they are creepy; they're small, child-like hands (about 6 inches in length), too small for a grown woman's body, even one who only stands at 5'1. I've posted here before about it, but... I'm just putting it here too. I don't know what to do. I am lonely but I don't have the energy or confidence to pursue friendship, except online, which can only go so far Same thing goes for a romantic relationship. I am drained, each day I just feel more and more like a mistake. I want a way out but I'm too afraid to do anything extreme Guess I'll just have to keep existing like this. I don't know how much longer I can put up with the work situation though, if my coworker continues to act this way. I'm really scared of having to see him again. I hope he leaves me alone. I feel like such a loser there. I might have to quit eventually, I don't want to go through that high school crap all over again. Sorry for how pathetic this sounds, it is exactly how I feel though.