Can't understand

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by OnTheEdgeThisTime, Feb 18, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. OnTheEdgeThisTime

    OnTheEdgeThisTime New Member

    I keep hearing that suicide is a selfish and cowardly act, that God gave you life and you should cherish it. Think about the people you leave behind. Think about what is left to experience. That my mind is deformed at the moment, in time it gets better.

    Are these really the only argumements they have cause they sure the hell aren't enough to keep me here

    I don't believe in god, so that arguement goes nowhere with me. I don't want to experience any more pain and it certainly has outweighed the joy so far, so how will that be any different in the future. People die every day, why is it so awful for me to want to face death on my terms rather than go through more crap and be miserable for another 20-40 years. Suicide is the farthest thing from cowardice that ever existed. To make the most difficult decision in your life, to end everything, is no where near being a coward. And to call it selfish is so far from true. I have thought of the person I will leave here, it is one of the hardest things to think about. In the end, they will move on, I will not be forgotten but they will move forward. People die everyday and we don't pass judgement because they have a disease or die of old age. This is my time to let go.

    These guilt ridden discussions and talks of imbalance are cruel. There is nothing wrong with me for not seeing a silver lining everyday. My world is not one giant rainbow we can slide down and have everything better at the other end. Life sometimes sucks and when you consistently consider suicide as your only option what the hell are you suppose to do to stop it. I just want people in my life to stop trying to stop me and let me make my decisions without feeling like I am the one being cruel and cowardly. This is hard enough as it is! It's been a long time since I've said anything to anyone about my feelings because they constantly throw the above rhetoric at me. I feel like if I'm really going to do this then no one can know but I want to say goodbye, I want to feel not alone and not guilt ridden when I go. Why can't anyone understand that this is my life and if I want it over with then it is my choice. How do other people deal with these feelings? Why can't we end our lives when we choose? Why can't we just let go and be happy that person isn't in anymore pain ? What the hell is wrong with society that they would rather you lead a miserable life the end one?
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    To make the most difficult decision in your life, to end everything, is no where near being a coward. And to call it selfish is so far from true. I have thought of the person I will leave here, it is one of the hardest things to think about. In the end, they will move on, I will not be forgotten but they will move forward.

    No, people do not move on. It is making your death their fault. Look at the loved and lost and read a few thousand of the threads on here of people that want to die because they were not good enough to save their friend or family member from suicide. You move on when it is an accident or natural causes when blame can't be assigned , and even then it is a very long process- but you are already assigning blame "i can't talk to anybody anymore because i do not like what they tell me" so you are blaming them because you do not like their answers - they will blame themselves as well and they will not move on. Your assertion you are right is no more valid then their assertion that you are wrong.

    I want to say goodbye, I want to feel not alone and not guilt ridden when I go.

    That is the selfish part - you are concerned only about yourself feeling better as opposed to burdening them with pain and guilt and sorrow. When your decision is going to make their life worse but you feel entitled to do it anyway that is selfish.


    Suicide is not just dying. If i get in a car accident on an icy road - car runs out of control and hits me - it is an accident. If that car sees me, aims at me and intentionally hits me it is not an accident and it is not excusable. Accidents happen and that is life- people can deal with that. Suicide is not an accident. It is intentionally causing the unneeded death of a human. When a person is murdered it is not the victim that is the issue - they are dead and it is done. The other victims- th edead persons family and friends - are the ones left to suffer for years and years. Suicide is the exact same thing - no, the dead person is not suffering- it is all the other victims left to suffer.

    I understand a lot of your feelings - I want to die every minute of every day. I am not going to compare situations or reasons as it is irrelevant- but I do 100% understand your feelings of pain and despair. But your attempts at justifying it as right and okay are miles off the mark.

    Your time may be more productive if you can't talk to other people about your feelings to talk about them here. Not th ephilosophical debate, but the issues. And get some advice on how a few thousand of us here are dealing and coping with the same issues to make life bearable and better.

    Take Care and Be safe

    Ben
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Could not have said that better my self hun I am one of the ones left behind and i can tell you hun when he took his life he took mine with him don't you understand it is not just your life you are ending not just yours.
     
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I agree with what NYjmpMaster so eloquently said.
    I am deeply sorry for your pain. So many here are in the depths of pain as well. So i hope you will continue to post here.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.