Because i was confused. we boke up. then got back together again, both agreed no pressure, jus taking each day at a time. 2 weeks later she forced me into a corner. sed i either gave her everything - commitment and all or nothing at all. i cudnt give her commitment straight away, she knew that, but cudnt wait. and it wudnt have been fair to pretend, so i had to go for nothing at all. but it wasnt wat i wanted. i lvoed her so god dam much. Was totally devoted to her. Even moved for her. i jus needed time.
I loved her so much. Put her top of everything. I moved to uni so we cud be together. i left my mum all alone so we cud have a future. i saved money for us. my last pennies, everything. Nothing was gona stop me. i conkered my fears of going to uni. I struggled thro my first year depressed so badly. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of us living together. I searched the net everyday for flats. looking at wat we cud have afforded. i looked for jobs for her too. And for me, so that i cud put money into it as well. I looked at beds to go in our flat. everything. i thought about it 24/7. But it was never gona happen. I wasnt good enough. I was never her top priority. How do i deal with this
Although this experience has not turned out well for you, try to look at the positives. You have seen that you can conquer things that before seemed impossible. You were able to go to uni, find a job, a flat, so many other things. You can survive this and be a stronger person for having gone through it. Take care and stay safe. :hug:
Starlight i know that we cant make you feel totally better right now and you probably dont want us to pretend everythings ok or make things sound over rosy but i want to say one thing to what you just said.Please dont dismiss managing to go to uni as a small thing.Please dont dismiss it.You got there.You went.i didnt get there.BE proud of what you did manage.Its a big thing and you did well.i know you feel negative but i just wish in some way you could value yourself too.i see so much positive in you.