Can't wait to go.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ace, Jun 18, 2010.

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  1. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I can't wait to be gone more than anything,the fact is that I don't want to stay around anymore.Obviously speaking because of years of endless hell and tired of hanging around for years more.The simple fact&truth is that I just want to be gone that's all,really don't want to be saved.

    Am I speaking like this because I'm really depressed and everything else is so screwed up?Well yes,but for me life is nothing and seriously I wish I was never born period.The only thing I can't wait is to be gone asap seriously I just crave for that time so badly.No more of this bullshit endless hell.

    To me it's all for what?Nothing just the same old constant bullshit,you try&try&try but keep failing and go through endless agony.Well for me I can't wait for that moment simply it can't come soon enough.Seriously don't worry people no point trying to tempt me to stay around,it's pointless and best I go instead of just staying and going through useless bullshit.
     
  2. dioxfre

    dioxfre New Member

    I felt the same way this morning. It's true that life is often a long, monotonous stream of bullshit, but suicide can't solve that. Take charge of your situation to help yourself. often when sitting and thinking of suicide, you'll want to kill yourself more.
    I'm no expert on suicide. I've tried it once to no effect. I'm 15 years old, making me fairly new to my condition. I've been on prozac for 3 years after I stole a gun and planned on bringing it to school. I went to therapy, but the real reason my condition improved was due to faith in myself. I won't get into religion, but when under the mindset that things will eventually sort out, they often do. I often find help in Taoist philosophy.
    Talking in a forum can be helpful, but nothing compares to talking face to face with someone. Many times I've called special people in my life to guide me away from suicide attempts.
    I'm not sure if this whole thing will be read, but please keep in mind that this message contains love and hope that you will not become another statistic. <3
     
  3. monnie101

    monnie101 Member

    I hear ya. I feel like that. I see no point in life and if I could push a button to end it, that would be great but there is no easy fix like that. There's no use in trying suicide. I got the stats on suicide and it rarely works. And when it nearly does, you end up living except your even more screwed up with some brain damage or you end up in a wheel chair or some type of serious damage to your body. Too bad we can't pay Dr Kavorkian to do it for us how he does it to old people with painful serious illnesses.
     
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Ditto..
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi ace. Sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time in your life and that everything seems like bullshit. 'If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.' I know that it seems like nothing is going right at the moment, but keep on trying and eventually things will get better. Life is not pointless, no matter how bad things get. Please don't give up hope. :hug:
     
  6. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Who wants to go out painlessly like that?
     
  7. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member


    I know how you feel too.
     
  8. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thanks all for your nice words of support&understanding,sadly in my mind I'm so fixed up on leaving now.Tried so hard to keep staying doing everything,all to a pointless point really but happy to go anyway.I'm convinced at times it's all worthless in my case it is but I'm so comfortable with leaving really am so much.
     
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Please don't give up ace. Keep on fighting the good fight man. :hug:
     
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Ace you can keep fighting reach out now okay sign self in now before there is no return please don't do this bring pain to others I know you are not capable of harming others so please get help now and get safe okay.
     
  11. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    I saw my Dr today again I'm convinced I'll never improve&no one can help me and that it's best to just get it over and done with.I spoke to him about my problems with Bdd(Body dysmorphic disorder)I said when I see people more attractive than me well that's how I see them.He replied with "What if they're more attractive than me?".I know where he was coming from in a way but still.

    Hearing that comment drove it in further for me if it had to be,I've given up anyway.I'm sick to death of this useless existance not going to say no more,Fighting a losing battle,yes that's what it's ever been for me,living longer to keep experiencing more pain that's all.Enough is enough as it's been many many years ago enough said..
     
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Sorry your appt with doctor didn't go so well if your not feeling any better Ace go to hospital okay stay safe You would be missed by too many here please stay safe
     
  13. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Sorry to hear that it didn't go very well with your doctor Ace. Please don't give up man. :hug:
     
  14. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    You can still be attractive and have problems. I am a living example of that.

    I'd rather live in a 3rd world country starving than have this shitty life.
     
  15. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    When we try to do anything by ourselves, it is really tough. Before giving up, explore all your options. You are loved and wanted. Someone does care for you. You are more important than you'll ever know. Blessings..
     
  16. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I used to be a stripper, and although it was a confidence boost at first, I started to rely on the amount of money I made to rate what my worth was. I relied on others to dictate how I felt about myself. The outside is not what is important. It is what is on the inside that counts. Beauty is only skin deep, and over time it fades. The real gem quality is what type of person you are inside. And I have a feeling you can be a great guy when you want to be, you just need to stop focusing on your flaws, and focus on the things that make you shine as a individual. Blessings..
     
  17. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Don't give up ace. I think your doctor was just trying to lighten up the situation when he made that comment. I don't think he was trying to insult you or anything. I know that it's hard to continue fighting a losing battle, but you can turn things around. Depression is not a death sentence. Don't let depression claim your life. :hug:
     
  18. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    One time I went to a strip club with a few of my friends. My friend told a stripper that I'm still a virgin, so she wanted to give me a private 'backroom' dance. I wasn't interested, because I figured that it was just a job for her. After I told her no, she seemed sad and I felt bad for hurting her feelings. :(
     
  19. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Thankyou all for your support it really means alot,the thing about being attractive is all related to my Bdd(Body dysmorphic disorder)nothing else I'm not vain etc.As the condition is now worse as it's ever been it's that it causes such hell.it was no way this bad years back it's just gotten worse as possible.

    All that happens now that I can't help is lying down thinking of ways of ending it through my head.Really have tried everything from CBT,Therapy,many many meds,ECT-schock treatment,hospitilization and much much more.Nothing helps and it's probably just me in fact I know it's me.I never improve on anything&n ever have succeeded at anything just have screwed things up,made them worse you name it.I'll never improve or change,I can't see the point of existing continuing with this hell&useless existance.
     
  20. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    It could be worse. You can still be attractive like me and wish you were living a 3rd world country. Those people have got it so much better than I. As bad as it seems for you, you could have my life. My life is the worst life anybody can live this side of paraplegics/quadriplegics.
     
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