can't win for losing

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by faleana, Jan 8, 2012.

  1. faleana

    faleana Member

    you make me hate myself. i've done wrong to you in the past, because i'm new to having a real boyfriend. a long-term boyfriend. a boyfriend that i actually love. the rest, i didn't care about. they were just there to fill the time, i guess.
    i'm sorry that i get upset when you say you're moving out.
    i'm sorry that i get upset when you'd rather play your video games then spend time with me.

    but now that i'm working 10 hours out of the day, i want to spend the little time i have at home - with you. not anyone else.
    but you take it as i'm taking everything away from you, please understand that i am not.
    i've tried to surpass how i feel, to give you 'you' time. but you won't let the past me go.
    when you yell at me about it, you make me hate myself. i can't win for losing with you.
    you know exactly what to say to me, to make me hate myself. to make me wanna just die
    cos i'm too weak to even keep fighting anymore. i have enough stress as it is, i can't handle the one person that i love, that i even have left in this world --
    to hate me.
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I am sorry faleana, you sound in so much pain.
    Can you reach some sort of compromise, you sit and read with him while he plays his games? How long does he play?

    What do you mean when you say he won't let the past you go?