Cant

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by sakuragirl, Sep 16, 2008.

  1. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    I am so angry right now and feel so stupid. I have been telling Angel how well hes been doing to find out that hes been spending money to pay things off on ebay. I got so mad and now I feel like its all my fault. Everytime I get money I have been helping pay off hi credit cards and now hes put us hundreds overdrawn because hes selfish.

    I have been living to help him and now I cant even do that so whats the point. He doesnt care if he did he wouldnt be so dumb and careless. theres no point.

    Now hell come home and cut and tell me its becuase I was upset with him. I feel as if I am in an emotional blackmail relationship. I cant do it anymore. Just crying and cutting and hitting myself.
     
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi sakuragirl. I don't understand why Angel is doing this. He finally has his life on track and has a girlfriend that cares about him (you), supposed to be moving in together and he still racks up credit card debt on ebay. You have to slap some sense into him. I really hope that your relationship can survive this. Before Agnes died, I promised her that I would help Angel when he's in trouble. If your relationship doesnt survive, I don't know what he will do.
     
  3. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    We are living together, and this weekend we almost ran to vegas to get married but I asked for a longer engagement. So frustrated and I dont know what to do about it
     
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    As much as I care about Angel and would like to see him happy, I think that getting married for the wrong reasons is a recipie for disaster. I think you did the right things asking for an extended engagement. You guys should work through all of your issues first, so that you're marriage has a better chance of working. A rushed marriage can just as easily be annuled.
     
  5. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    thats how I feel, i love him very much but I want everything to be right, you know what I mean.

    He seems to understand the issues from yesterday and is taking good steps to fixing it
     
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    He needs to get his spending habits under control before you do anything more to commit to the relationship. If it is an issue now, it will only be a wedge later and can cause a lot of harm. Continue to support him emotuionally, but he needs to take financial responsibility. If you pay things off he will not learn. It only shows that someone else will bail him out if he does it again. It reinforces the bad behaviors. Don't enable him.
     
  7. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    I know that I shouldnt bail him out but when I see him hurting I just want to help him any way that I can. I have to be stronger for him I guess
     
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Its one of the hardest things to do, see that someone takes responsibilities like this when you know they are hurting so much. I guess you need to be strong for the both of you as long as it is not too much for you. :hug:
     
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Sometimes 'tough love' is better than being an 'enabler.' I think I remember that from Intervention. :smile:
     
  10. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    He did again, I got my check went and put money in the account for bills found out that the last ebay incident cost us $250 in overdraft fees. Gave him some money to pay a bill and he comes home with a leather jacket instead. 'm at the point where I think I'm going to have to break it off with him because I cant trust him anymore. What makes it worse is I had the money for the jacket from my check and if he had wanted it I would have given it him, but he used the bill money and forgot about the consequences. I really am at the end of my wits with him. There's no point anymore, after all without trust there is no love and without love no reason to live.
     
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Maybe you and Angel just weren't meant to be? He needs to get his priorities in order before getting married. Marriage takes committment and it doesn't seem like he is very committed to saving money. You have to be able to save money to have a successful marriage. Though, if you guys break up, I hope it doesn't trigger you guys and make you more suicidal. :hug:
     
  12. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    im already there i did something today but got sick so couldnt finish. theres too many things now and im trying but im sick of being the grown up in the relationship. i love him i really do but he has no idea on how to act like an adult