Life has treated me pretty shit. It doesn't really matter what happened to me, what matters is the state its left me in, so here goes... I'm a young intelligent lad, with an above average IQ of 127. However i failed my GCSEs, i failed my A levels, and im now rotting away in some retail job. I have few friends, spend the majority of my time online, seeking the attention of people, to make myself feel better. Your waiting for the point, you'll see. I dont currently care about anything, my future, my family, my friends. I just dont care, like right now, im starving, i have pains in my stomach, and i dont care and eventually they'll just fade away like they always do. I pick and drops friends like brand new sweaters, i stole money from charity, i use people. All the stuff that has happened to me, has left me in a very dangerous state. I hope i havent confused you. I've named this 'thread' Capabilty, which is being capable of doing something. Now most humans have morals, well mine are void. And well heres my little secret, I think i'd be quite capable of killing someone, driving a knife into their chest, watching the colour drain from their eyes. Now i tell people this, and they look at me, and the sigh softly but i dont they understand how serious i really am. Now im openly admitting i have the capabilty of doing it, but i wonder how far am i from desiring it. It would be fair to say that i am very close to being a clinical psychopath ( Look up the correct meaning before commenting ), what happens when i get tired of everyone, and everything hurting me, and i decide i wanna hurt someone else, make them feel what ive been burdened with. I wonder is this how murderers are created, does pain equal pain, is this my fate. Well i say man makes his own fate, if i murder someone its because ive chosen to be a muderer. Even tho is something i will proberly never do, just admitting that i quite capable of doing it, well thats worrying isnt it ? Or is it just me, blowing something small out of proportion, afterall we are capable, arent we ? I guess the only difference is, morals hold you back, and im not sure whats holding me back, and if i dont know what it is, how can i say how long it will hold me back for ? Am i sick ? Do i crave attention ? Is my craving for attention sickness ? Is life just one fucking pointless piece of shit, and humans are too intelligent for the process they were intended for, so our minds create these stupid problems, to fill the void of living. I'm only sick, if society decides im sick. If i offended, or if i dont fit into one of societys defined social groups. Life is shit, because humans made it so god damn fucking complicated. Im suffering because of all the shitty generations of man that came before me. Im suffering because man thinks hes a thousand times greated than he is. I hate humanity. I hate humanity. I hate our beliefs, i hate the execution of our beliefs. You know there are some specials of insects that live for only just one day, the awake in the world, fly around for a little while, fuck one of their own, and then they lay down and die. They don't worry about why apples fall to the floor, why the wind blows, why the sky is blue, they live, they fufil their reason for living and then they die. And thats what i hate about humanity most of all. All of them do the same fucking thing! Live for the sake of living.