Car Insurance and Loan

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by i guess im just desperate, May 29, 2009.

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  1. I dont have anymore moeny to pay my insurance or car loan...what do i do? I dont want t oget a job..i know that will just lead ot me working a retail dead end job the rest of my life and i cant do that..its physically draining...emotionally draining...and not the life i want to live. Ive thought about packing my bags and living on the streets (driving my car until the gas runs out and thumbing it from there)...what do i do? Im so fucking desperate... anyone else in this situation?

    Basically i can either purchase a hand gun and ammo or pay my car loan +insurance for 1 last month (and then what). This truly is the crossroads i thought id never reach....i cant believe im in this situation.
  2. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    You want money but you don't want to get a job??? Grow up and deal with it like the other 6 billion people on this planet. Most of us hate our jobs. It's part of life. You're not going to win the lottery- I am. So deal with that. What? You plan on becoming a thief? That's a million times more dead end than the worst honest job. And it would make you a scumbag screwing with the lives of innocent people. Like I said. Grow up and deal with it. A job may suck but a pay check is a pay check. It's honest money.
  3. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I have to agree with Ken I'm afraid.

    The way I see it is, most of us don't want to work - I hate working and for the most part I have avoided it to the best of my ability for the last 25 years but I realise my parents are getting older and at some point they won't be around anymore to bail me out, extended family cannot always be counted upon, friends are growing up and leaving me behind, siblings have their own lives.

    I'm on my own.

    As has already been said, people work hard. So many of them hate it, but they're/we are all an important part of society, right from the guy who saves us at the hospital to the guy who makes the tough decisions in government to the guy who grows and picks fresh produce from his land to the guy who bags it up for us at the supermarket to the guy who cleans the streets and takes our garbage away.

    We are ALL important, because imagine if that person wasn't there.

    Maybe a shitty retail job wasn't what you had in mind for yourself. So see it as a means to an end (something you will do for now in order to give you that helping hand to get where you want to be).
    The fact that you even HAVE a car is more than what most people have and you have the nerve to even joke (if that was a joke?) about robbing people to get by?
    These people who may be working dead end jobs also to feed their babies and you want to pay your damn car insurance!
    C'mon now. Have a heart.

    Nobody said you have to work retail the rest of your life. You can work your way out of retail or even work your way UP within the industry. It can be done. It HAS been done!
    As one of my quotes says "the best way to know something can be done is because someone before you has already done it".
    Maybe it's time to ditch your car, cut your losses, accept a retail job or whatever customer service position, pay your loan back in small monthly instalments and then when you are in a better position, maybe try community college and consider getting another car.
  4. I wasnt implying robbing people i was implying killing myself. But youre right i have to ifgure this out on my own and in the end get up off my ass and do it on my own be it job or suicide
    i just dont feel capable enough to do a "dead end" job the rest of my life but i dont want to g oto fault i puttnig myself in this situation..i dontk now how everyone else deals with it. I dont know how the 50 year old checker at the super market lives happily i dont know how the small gas station owner wokrs 7 days a week no holidays and still finds time to enjoy life...i just dont know. I know im a fucking baby and i need to grow up and get shit done. Oh well..thansk for the replies though i appreciate the advice
  5. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    I have to agree... about getting a job... not killing yourself. I understand you not wanting to work a dead end job... but at least you CAN work. I always hated working... but now that I CAN'T work anymore, I actually MISS it... at this point I would be HAPPY with a dead end retail job... at least I would have SOMETHING to do... and more money coming in, because my disability income is a joke, and I am going crazy sitting around all the time!!

    So even if it is just temporary, take a job that's not your dream, just to get by financially... it's always much easier to get a GOOD job that you want, if you HAVE a job, even if you don't like that one!

    Good luck, I hope you can find something that helps you stay alive!!
  6. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    you have a third option - communal living - generally no money required, just have to put in around the place. You get a roof over your head, food to eat and fresh air to breath. Only problem is you end up substituting "customers", the worst part of retail, for "crazies", the worst part of communal living, but at least the crazies are interesting. Customers dont have any redeeming features as far as I can tell.

    Honestly though, do the retail job and while your at it..get rid of the car, there a money pit you can do without when your on a low income.
  7. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    Dont worry guys, he cant buy ammo these days. Brass shortage and all....
    Plants are shutting down most of their lines xxxxxxxxx

    Tan up and get a job, if you can. I have been laid off since February. I'm require to put in atleast two apps a week to keep my unemployment benifits up. But I put in 10-15. I'm running out of places to apply. And I have a STRONG employment history. People just arent hiring....if you can find a job, any job. TAKE IT.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 29, 2009
  8. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Putting depressed people down isn't a really great way to cheer them up.
  9. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    He just told the OP to grow up and get a job. Makes perfect sense, no? The individual asked what s/he should do, not if someone could cheer him/her up. Doesn't really matter how "cheered up" you are when you won't do what you have to do in order to survive.

    I'm rather glad Ken didn't sacrifice honesty for blatant impracticality just because they'll hurt the OPs feelings less.

    OP, hun, to echo the others for further emphasis: just gotta suck it up. You've gotta do something if you wanna get something. Things don't just fall into our laps. (Unless you're fucking Paris Hilton or some other opprobrious schmuck out there). A job, the way things are right now, is something you should be happy to have. No one says because you start out working in retail that you'll have to do it for the rest of your life. Like desperateanddepressed said: "see it as a means to an end." View the job as something you're doing to get something you need (to pay your stuff), not something you're doing in futility for the rest of your life.

    Besides, it's not all that bad; once you start reaping the benefits for your work, it feels a little less miserable.

    Good luck and such
  10. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    You honestly don't think someone has tried that approach before this person got to the point of feeling suicidal? Telling depressed people to "get over it" is just about the worst thing you can do. If they could just "get over it" (that's basically what he's saying), they probably wouldn't be here looking for support, now would they?

    Except the goal of this forum is to save lives and not necessarily to be brutally honest with everyone you speak to. And being a jerk to someone who is obviously already at rock bottom just might very well be the final straw. Ever think of that? Sometimes, honesty can wait until you're sure the person wants to hear you tell them to go away, grow up, suck it up and all that stuff.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 31, 2009
  11. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni


    Support entails more than just telling people that everything's okay when even they know for goddamn sure that it's not.

    I'm sure someone's tried a lot of approaches. Including the ":hug: it's okay, hun. You'll get some money soon." You think someone hasn't tried that? That's not any better. Not at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's the worst thing you can do, enable someone's sense of immobility. I don't think suggesting practical things is "the worst thing you can do."

    I don't think there's a much better, more concise way to give down-to-earth advice in this situation... when, yes, advice is what they asked for. (And I quote "what do i do? Im so fucking desperate...")

    A reality-check is what a lot of people need, more so than the emotional subsidizing you're suggesting. Many people, as I'm sure you understand, don't think rationally when depressed/suicidal. A little bit of rationality from an outside source never hurt anyone.

    Once again, the OP asked what s/he should do, right? Not for sympathy. That's not what the individual asked for.

    Was the "grow up" thing even jerky? Hardly. Not attacking the OP or anything; it's all right to feel a little unmotivated sometimes and it happens. But damn, the question the person posed begged for a little wake-up call.

    Sometimes it's what people need to hear. I know it makes me think hard about where I am when people are blunt with their words. It makes me think a lot harder than "It's okay!" and it makes me a lot more inclined to do something about it. Hearing genuine stuff more than once can make things click, even if, initially, all you can think to respond with is "Ouch."

    Gotta do what you gotta. In several cases, if you hear it enough, you'll learn to accept it. That's all.
  12. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    VERY well put Discarded!! I have to agree!
  13. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Where I come from telling somebody who's feeling seriously down to grow up and get over it is pushy, arrogant, insensitive and just generally not helpful. I've never seen it help anyone. Ever. This isn't a very special episode of Dr.Phil. It's real life. There aren't always simple answers and the problems are often far more complicated than a person just needing something to "click".
  14. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    u sound like me a few months ago, i applied to go on disability but they wouldnt take me because i refused to take the medication they gave me, so i went back to my old soul sucking capitalist job and made decent money in the last few months

    life sux, if you are healthy appreciate life cuz when that is gone life really sucks

    and we are all slaves to the criminals who have hijacked this country, just working for the man, i dont know what else to say, i think life makes sense only when you are broke and drunk
  15. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    why do you need your car btw?

    just wondering. if you can't work because you're too depressed, and if you think working will make your MH worse, then what is more important, your life or a car? then again, if your car is used to get away, escape from something, then i can understand that. i don't know about you or your mental health but maybe those are a few thoughts, if you find them helpful.

    hope things get better for you. don't feel obligated to do anything if you're too ill. i understand what you mean about working but a car is expensive to run if you're not working.
  16. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    Oh, Random. I didn't say anything about simplicity.

    "Grow up" is pretty tactful, in my opinion. It's the internet. I might be wrong about its tactfulness, fine, but if "putting depressed people down" (your words; I call it being honest when they're being irrational) isn't the way to help, what is, might I ask?

    Real life sure as hell isn't Dr. Phil, but neither is it your baby crib.

    Yes, getting down to business is easier said than done (as everything), but it's doable and needs to be heard sometimes, I think, by people who aren't thinking rationally. When it comes down to looking for a friggin job versus killing oneself/living on the streets because of a car note, really what should an individual do but "grow up" and look for a job?
  17. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i have to disagree.

    where's the rationality in assuming the OP was going to rob someone when he talked about getting a gun, rather than thinking- he's suicidal and might kill himself, and saying that loads of people will make it upwards through dead end jobs in the current ecomomic climate where even graduates are having difficulty getting jobs and many people who are have been working, are losing their homes and jobs?

    where's the rationality in saying the OP should happy in a dead end job not knowing fully his mental health and that many people are dying living on very little?

    personally my way of helping is to find out more about the OP and ask questions. i do not know the OP. i can only go with what he says. and people want to die for so many reasons, whether it be losing their car, breakdown in a relationship which might just be a trigger for whatever has happened in their life leading them to this stage.
  18. the fleet asleep

    the fleet asleep Well-Known Member

    Or, youre overthinking it. He needs a job, he needs one. He doesnt need people to tell him he'll be okay, because if he doesnt get a job, he wont be. sometimes a swift kick in the ass is twice as effective as a hug, and in this case, its infinitely more effective.

    If youre thinking of killing yourself rather than getting a job, then you seriously dont need people rationalizing your feelings for you. You need people to tell you that you simply cant rationalize that mindset, despite the generic circumstances you paint as unique. Enabling any kind of rationalization is the most dangerous thing that could happen.
  19. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    what exactly do you mean by this?
  20. the fleet asleep

    the fleet asleep Well-Known Member

    I wasnt speaking to you induvidually, so please dont take that personally. Im using the term "you" as a means of addressing everyone who is not me.

    What I mean by that is that his basic circumstances are A) not at all unique, and B) almost completely unimportant in reference to his problem. We've all been in a situation where jobs have become scarce, and the only thing you can do is find another. It makes zero difference why you lost it, where you lost it, how you lost it. What matters is that you will be in a lot of trouble if you somehow rationalize the fact that you refuse to get a job. The only question that needs to be asked is "why are you here looking for rationalization when you should be out trying actually solve your problem".

    Its not easy, but its something that has to be done despite most any outside factors. I have social anxiety pretty badly, and I know that if the people close to me had said "dont worry, its not your fault. you cant help that you have social anxiety", Idve never found a job. Instead, they told me "yup, you have social anxiety, now go get a job", and I ended up having 3. Everyone has their reasons for these things, but none of them are special in the least. Its the kind of shit everyone has to deal with, and no one should be given special treatment when they dont absolutely need it to survive.
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