Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Needing Reason, Oct 14, 2008.

  1. i feel like shit. i just took a bunch of random pills from my medicine cabinet hoping i would feel better or at least distract me for a few hours. everytime i dont have anything to do i look at my life and realize its complete shit. i dont play any sports, i dont have a large group of friends to hang out with and i dont even care about school. ill know the answers for tests but just not right them down because i dont want to even put in the effort to get a good grade. i feel like everyone i try to even talk too is trying to backstab me. ive tried to get some friends but i just dont even want to put in the time for somthing that couldnt even work. i just dont know what to even do.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter


    Welcome to the forum :hug:

    Please tell someone close to you that you have just taken pills or go to a hospital.

    You shouldn't deliberately be trying to get bad grades,it will make you feel even more depressed, besides you should be trying your best you see a counselor or take meds? :hug:
  3. PeaceBlueFire

    PeaceBlueFire Well-Known Member

    Hi, Needing Reason!

    I agree with Daisychain, you need to get those medications out of your system, and the sooner the better. They can and will cause a lot of damage to you. This damage can be physically, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Please get some help, if not for yourself right now, than for those of us who love and care for you. Get some help for us until you are able to get some help for yourself.

    Seeing both a counselor and a doctor is good to start feeling better and more like yourself. Medications and therapy can usually help people effectively. Do you have any positive ways of coping? Any favorite hobbies that you enjoy doing? Doing these things by themselves help people overcome many obstacles, including whatever you are currently dealing with.

    I find writing, reading and going on long walks help me the most but everybody is different. You may be helped more effectively through artwork and talking. Only you can know and figure that out. Please don't give up! We love you! I LOVE YOU AND CARE ABOUT YOU! If you don't believe this then ask yourself one question. Why did I take the time and energy to return your post? Erin :)
  4. i took your advice and i purged them out but what im afraid off is for a little bit i felt good. all the pressures that had been so pent up inside me were just gone instantly. it wasnt for very long but im afraid that im going to try it again. i want to talk to a therapist or somthing but ive portrayed to my mom that everything is going alright in my life. she works 12-13 hours a day for her job and is always stressed about somthing or another. im afraid of what might happen since she already snaps at me without thinking her son is some kind of suicidal freak.

    about the grades though i get all A's and B's but i just really dont care about them. i memorize almost everything i hear for some reason but when a test comes sometimes i just dont even feel like putting the entire answer. i just put an answer and move on.

    the real main problem i have though is i dont trust anyone. i cant confide in anyone in my life. theres no one at my school like me and everyone i see i think is making fun of me. i met a cute girl that seemed to like to talk to me the other day and she gave me her number but i just cant seem to talk about anything to her. it makes no sense but i have no trust whatsoever in my life.

    ps if my grammer or posting doesnt make sense im still a little loopy from all the pills im thinking
  5. PeaceBlueFire

    PeaceBlueFire Well-Known Member

    Hi Needing Reason,

    I'm sorry you're having a rough time lately. I'm glad you got those pills out of your system. I've OD'ed before. The first time I never extracted the pills from my system and the second time my body did it for me since I refused and then was too sick to go to the hospital.

    Please try not to get fooled by the quick fixes of overdoses, drugs and other addictions. They only last for a short time and then are gone, making you think you have to do them all over again to feel better. There are other more positive ways to feel better and you need to find which ones work for you. This may take some time, but it can and should be done.

    Don't worry about what your mom or anybody else is dealing with right now. You are the first and most important priority and need to be taken care of first. Your mom is concerned about you because she loves and cares for you. She just doesn't know how to display those feeling properly so she yells at you instead. If your mom doesn't give you the support you need then please look elsewhere for that needed support. Don't hurt yourself even deeper by not getting the help you need and deserve. And you do deserve it, you deserve the best!

    I have lived through some pretty tough issues myself, most of which I still live with daily or have a constant reminder of the past. I'm here if you ever need a listening ear. I am not hear to judge. I'm only here to do the best I can with the resources I have.

    I understand all too well the not caring about your schoolwork and grades. Whether you do well or poorly even though you are a bright student. I have lived through this and am still struggling through it. I am also aware what being unable to trust others does to a person. I have a hard time confiding in most people. In fact, I couldn't even begin to open up to anybody about serious and important issues until I was 14. It is still difficult and at the best of times, I still have to force myself because I don't get the encouragement elsewhere and it helps me cope and feel better.

    Please don't misread me, I am not a doctor, counselor, therapist or any other mental health worker. I am a young college student, daughter, sister, friend, who loves to help anyone I can. Especially when I have been through similar situations and traumas. I am aware that none of this information may be relevant now or at any point in your life but at least I tried. Please don't give up on yourself!

    If you ever need to chat, please leave me a message either on here or in my e-mail. I also have msn if you feel more comfortable on there. My e-mail address is: and can be used anytime.

    Take care of yourself. Erin :)