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Cats and Dogs

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by ~CazzaAngel~, Feb 25, 2007.

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  1. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Subject: Cat and Dog Diary's:

    If you have a dog or a cat...this makes perfect sense!

    :dog: *Excerpts from a Dog's Diary* :dog:

    8:00 am - Dog food! Oh-boy-o-boy...My favorite thing!

    9:30 am - A car ride! Oh-boy-o-boy...My favorite thing!

    9:40 am - A walk in the park! Oh-boy-o-boy... My favorite thing!

    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! Oh-boy-o-boy...My favorite thing!

    12:00 pm - Lunch! Oh-boy-o-boy...My favorite thing!

    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! Oh-boy-o-boy...My favorite thing!

    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! Oh-boy-o-boy...My favorite thing!

    5:00 pm - Milk bones! Oh-boy-o-boy...My favorite thing!

    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! Oh-boy-o-boy...My favorite thing!

    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! Oh-boy-o-boy...My favorite thing!

    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! Oh-boy-o-boy...My favorite thing!

    :cat: *Excerpts from a Cat's Diary* :cat:

    Day 983 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 25, 2007
  2. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Hehehe thats cute! Thanks for sharing Carolyn :hug:

  3. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    :laugh: this is fantastic and so true! My lil kitty can't want to escape though as she always comes back (cat flap).. either that or she can't find 6 bowls of food and so much love and attention in any other home around here :rolleyes:
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    This is so true. Just like it was written straight from their minds. Thanks for sharing. :)
  5. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Bravo! Rings true! Thanks for brightening up my Sunday morning :biggrin:
  6. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    You all are welcome! :grouphug:
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

  8. Nessarose

    Nessarose Well-Known Member


    That was great. Thanks for sharing!
  9. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    haha gotta love cats
  10. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    This is great! Brought a smile to my face!
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